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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, April 1st 2010

Esquire featured hippie-kryptonite Marc Morano, Greenpeace upset the iCrowd and we have a genuine nerd fight between weathermen and climatologists.  Pocket protectors at noon, gentlemen.

All this and a hottie of justice.  It’s April 1st, but would I joke about that?

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Show me the money.  Al was excited to learn that the UK has started a green investment bank with a £2 billion injection of cash to be used on eco-friendly initiatives like wind power and eco-friendly waste management.  Expect an announcement from Generation Investment Management soon about a new UK office, because that much money is like a flame to a moth.

Al declared a win-win for American farmers.  If global warming is real, farmers will reap the rewards in increased crop yields, unless they prefer to not farm and make money from carbon offsets.  Trouble is, you can’t eat an offset.

The inconvenience of being Al, China is moving forward (but with coal).

One warmist sees no need to defend the Goreacle when he’s wrong:

It means looking at the science – not scary and unrealistic images of submerged cities. It means accepting the fact that Al Gore is not always right, and he should not be defended when he’s wrong.

Henry Payne compares the media frenzy about a few nuts going overboard after the Obama care vote, but wonders why Al Gore was never asked to publicly atone for the ELF.  It’s a good question, unless you’re in the media, of course.

Al points to terrified scientists who think that dying coral will doom humanity:

“Coral reefs are part of the foundation of the ocean food chain. Nearly half the fish the world eats make their homes around them. Hundreds of millions of people worldwide — by some estimates, 1 billion across Asia alone — depend on them for their food and their livelihoods.”

If the reefs vanished, experts say, hunger, poverty and political instability could ensue.  “Whole nations will be threatened in terms of their existence,” said Carl Gustaf Lundin of the International Union for the Conservation of Nature.

Then it’s time to round up these climate criminals for condemning whole nations’ existence.  But wait, can old trains save the planet?  Darned ingenuity, saving the planet all the time, it’s like we don’t even need hippies.

take that, coral

Canada’s David Suzuki has designed and launched ‘the David Suzuki Office Essentials: Green Your Workplace toolkit‘.  It’s free and visitors to the website are guided through the process by a cartoon version of David Suzuki.

Dave, you’ve been a cartoon for some time now, dude.

Bubba and the Chump.  Bill Clinton took a swipe at his erstwhile Veep:

Clinton noted today is spring — “otherwise known to Al Gore as proof of global warming.”

Har har, see what he did there?

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

Hippies from activist group Climate Camp showed their commitment to Gaia by sending delegates to Bolivia.  Here’s more fun facts about the hapless hypocrites:

  • The 12,000-mile round trip to the Climate Change and Mother Earth’s Rights conference next month involves changing planes at least twice.
  • The flights will generate about eight tons of carbon dioxide greenhouse gases.
  • The money for their tickets — at least £1,200 for an economy fare — is being paid for by donations to Climate Camp from people opposed to flying and airport expansion.

An American academic accuses warmists of hijacking the environmental movement.  Um, see the story above to see the kind of fanatics and lunatics that now claim to be the face of green.

Count ‘em.  Five dumb ways to save the planet.  No surprise that number one on the list involves telling Africans not to breed.  What is it with warmists and their rabid hatred of Africa anyway?

Eco-terrorist group Greenpeace is trying to frame the global warming debate as the tobacco fight.  Of course, pitching themselves as David against a big-oil funded Goliath is about as dishonest as you can get.

Useless, self-promoting hippies have trudged up to the Arctic again and spend their time trying to stay alive and complain about the freezing cold. They should have gone to Antarctica to observe a new phenomenon to science, ice that melts at -20°C.

Geo-engineers are people that should never, ever be given the keys to anything large and dangerous.  Now they want to turn the sea into a frothy mix with something they call ‘tiny bubbles’.  I don’t want to think about how they dreamed this up, I think it involved a bathtub and a momentary loss of control.

Forced to answer inconvenient questions about their erratic and heinous behavior, climate sciencytists accuse their accusers of McCarthyism.  Unfortunately, their history is as about as good as their data.

The UN wants to raise $1 trillion to ‘fight the effects’ of global warming.  Does anyone think allowing the UN access to that kind of cash is a good idea?  Maurice Strong, anyone?

Does the University of Tasmania want to alternately cook and/or freeze sick people?

Michael ‘Stick’ Mann says he’s a skeptic. Sure Mike, and I’m a dirty hippie.

The father of the Gaia Theory, James Lovelock, says that humans are too stupid to save the planet:

“I don’t think we’re yet evolved to the point where we’re clever enough to handle a complex a situation as climate change,” said Lovelock in his first in-depth interview since the theft of the UEA emails last November. “The inertia of humans is so huge that you can’t really do anything meaningful.”

Does Lovelock have any idea how to overcome this inertia? You bet he does:

“Even the best democracies agree that when a major war approaches, democracy must be put on hold for the time being. I have a feeling that climate change may be an issue as severe as a war. It may be necessary to put democracy on hold for a while.”

Great, so all we have to do is give up all our rights and trust the UN?  Lovely.

Hollyweird attention spans are too short to worry about the planet when it ceases to be cool.  To worry, that is.  But gunslinger James Cameron has a taker for his challenge to a high noon style shootout.  Action!

Did I see Cameron? yeah he went that way

Vote early, vote often in the Treehugger awards.  (H/t Soylent Green)

Greenpeace aims at Koch Industries for their funding of skeptic efforts.  But Koch fires back:

We believe the political response to climate issues should be based on sound science. Both a free society and the scientific method require an open and honest airing of all sides, not demonizing and silencing those with whom you disagree. We’ve strived to encourage an intellectually honest debate on the scientific basis for claims of harm from greenhouse gases.

You can almost hear the hippie heads pop at Greenpeace when they tried to decipher what ‘a free society and the scientific method’ means.

Hippie kryptonite Marc Morano is featured in Esquire, and a DeSmogBlog hippie is so jealous of the attention that he resorts to name calling.  Oh, wait, it’s DeSmog, name calling is all they’ve got.

Environmental groups are threatening a lawfare campaign to stop human progress.  Some groups have been bragging about their victories for a while already, but will people sitting in the dark or paying a fortune for energy thank them?

Huh?  Climategate in Law and Order?  Global warming is represented by two separate yet equally important groups, the scientists who make stuff up, and the gullible hippies who believe them.  Or something.

Kids are cute, sure.  The little planet killers.

tires are recylable, kids not so much

Oh noes, Guam reaches a tipping point, sorta.  Okay it’s not a global warming issue as such, but this guy will still get to vote on cap and trade.  Scared yet?

Andy Revkin heads over to the Opinion pages at the NYT, 940 posts too late.

A warmist sciencytist took $200,oo0 to blame global warming for Great lake lamprey activity.  Tom took nothing and wonders why the problem was worse 60 years ago.  Oops.

45,000 activists flew to Copenhagen in December, and not a word about how they were funded.  But Steve McIntyre gets a hand with his costs and it’s Stop the Presses.  Media, you’re done.

Paua has this week’s green on green action, it’s a perfect match of iPuritans against the iPad. Greenpeace against green Mac daddy’s, is it Christmas already?

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

The bright green future will feature $9/gallon gas.  That’s one way to promote the buy local campaign.

Oh noes, the Germans are coming cooling.  For a moment there, Poland was worried.

Some good news out of Kallyvornya where the cool cars rules are scrapped.

Some bad news out of Kallyvornya where power prices are set to rise 37%.  Thanks, Sierra Club.

Hippies say that you can feel good if you buy electronics with Energy Star stickers.  Even your gasoline powered alarm clock.  Turns out that being green is easy after all:

Like more than a dozen other bogus products submitted for approval since last June by Congressional auditors posing as companies, it [a gasoline powered alarm clock] easily secured the label, according to a Congressional report to be issued Friday. So did an “air purifier” that was essentially an electric space heater with a feather duster pasted on top, the Government Accountability Office said.

The lights at Target are targeted by government for not being efficient enough.  Who says government is too big?

Oh noes, the Arctic is all gone normal.  Oh, nevermind.

Whither the weatherization jobs?:

After a year of crippling delays, President Barack Obama’s $5 billion program to install weather-tight windows and doors has retrofitted a fraction of homes and created far fewer construction jobs than expected.   In Indiana, state-trained workers flubbed insulation jobs. In Alaska, Wyoming and the District of Columbia, the program has yet to produce a single job or retrofit one home. And in California, a state with nearly 37 million residents, the program at last count had created 84 jobs.

Al Gore said that renewable energy is the future and that green jobs will flow to the sector.  And he was right, but the green jobs are all flowing to India and China.  BP’s exodus is just the beginning.

Wind, not all that green:

..

That pesky Medieval Warming Period, proved again. It’s sedimentary my dear Watson.

Global warming, the obit:

Gore was 100% successful in attracting a huge amount of public attention to climate. His mistake was his gross underestimation of both public intelligence and the power of his first “creation”: The Internet. There are still many real scientists out there who call bullshit when they see it. The mainstream media (MSM) gagged the skeptical scientists, but you can’t control the Internet.

Reefgate, you know it’s coming…

You know the global warming hoax is done when it’s finished by the Finnish.

Jo Nova puts Climategate into perspective, and yes, it’s your weekly must read link.

Oh noes, the public doesn’t believe in global warming.  Warmists, politicians hit hardest.  Meanwhile, one news organization seems to be doing quite nicely, thanks.  Since that was a Hot Air link, let’s have an exit question.  Will CNN lurch to the right or just erode into nothingness?

Nerd fight!  Weathermen versus climatologists, it’s on.  The rumble in the cumulonimbus.  Or something.

The Day After Tomorrow will be just fine after all, so Jake Gyllenhaal won’t get his chance to cuddle up with Emmy Rossum.  The Gulf Stream isn’t slowing down. Presumably it has plans to retire to Arizona and play golf, eat out and buy a sports car.

A little off-topic, but the fellas at CERN seem to be having trouble with the large hadron collider.  Is it just me, or is it troubling that the men who say it’s safe can’t actually make it work?

Some clever heads at Yale suggest the environmental movement has achieved the status of Epic Fail.  I may have missed some details in the summary, you should probably read the link.

Renault, a French automaker, has pulled some advertisements because they were misleading about emissions efficiency. Cheating seems to be a corporate goal at Renault.

Part Four: AGW in the News

Green health care you can believe in.  Kaiser Permamente patients had better hope the sun is shining when it’s their turn for the defibrillator.

The Times Higher Education supplement features Bishop Hill on Climategate.  Unfortunately, this is likely to be the first time that THE readers will have heard of news like this:

…scientists discuss how to deal with the recent publication of a paper in the journal Climate Research by Willie Soon and Sallie Baliunas, two prominent climate-change sceptics from the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics. Mann and his team speak of encouraging colleagues to stop treating Climate Research as a valid publication for scientific findings, and of “getting rid of” both the paper’s editor, Chris de Freitas, and the journal’s editor-in-chief, Hans von Storch. Another plan involved trying to precipitate a mass resignation from the editorial board. In the event, four of the journal’s editors did in fact resign in protest, including von Storch.

The Guardian admits publishing climate propaganda, and still loves to delete opposing viewpoints.  Vote Stalin!

Awesomest news story of the week, China firing huge deodorant guns at landfills.  Sponsored by Axe?

Greens hate Africa, so why not ensure that they can’t have electricity too:

when Ghana turned to its United States “partner” and asked OPIC to support the $185-million project, OPIC refused to finance even part of it – thus adding as much as 20% to its financing cost. Repeated across Africa, these extra costs for meeting “climate change prevention” policies will threaten numerous projects, and prolong poverty and disease for millions. Sub-Saharan Africa is home to 800 million people, 80% of whom live on less than $2.50 per day. Over 700 million people – twice the population of the USA and Canada combined – rarely or never have access to the lifesaving, prosperity-creating benefits of electricity

National Geographic, a magazine found in dental offices across the world, says global warming causes genocide.  Really, they said that.

Head scratcher of the week, why is the GOP dropping the global warming issue and backing away slowly?

ABC (the Oz version) has a presumption of bias.  Say it ain’t so.

A Gubernator wannabe, Carly Fiorina talks about scrapping Kallyvornya’s global warming law.  Are enough people upset at having no money, no jobs and no future to buy into that?  We’ll see.  The new New Jersey governor is slowly taking apart the global warming machine there, so anything’s possible.

After the UK government was censured for misleading ads about climate change, will Oxfam be similarly challenged?

something's fishy...

Tom Nelson on the big brown cloud currently on its World Tour.

The enquiry into Climategate was the expected whitewash, with calls for Phil ‘Hide the Decline’ Jones to be returned to work.  Jones is deemed to be just fine because the low low standards of ethics in global warming science were observed by everyone, so it’s okay:

Phil Willis, the committee’s Liberal Democrat chairman, told The Times: “There is no reason why Professor Jones should not resume his post. He was certainly not co-operative with those seeking to get data, but that was true of all the climate scientists.”

Mr Willis said that the inquiry had failed to establish whether Professor Jones had deleted information to prevent requests to publish it. In one of the e-mails he asked a colleague to delete correspondence relating to evidence submitted to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

Nope, no reasons there to keep the guy out of a leadership role in global warming ‘science’.

The BBC spins that Climategate was good for global warming science.  And it was, if by good you mean destroyed.

Nevermind how much carbon is in the atmosphere, the value of carbon in the marketplace is dropping fast.

Plane stupid indeed, Heathrow’s new runway is axed because of global warming.

Did a mega-flood cause Europe to freeze 13,000 years ago?

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Part Five: Global Hottie

Remember that Law and Order link?  Now you get to see why it made into the round-up.  Two words, Angie and Harmon.  Welcome her back to the Round-Up folks, it’s been too long.

if it were me, I'd click

Thanks for reading.