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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Mar. 31st 2011

Hippie of the week is a skeptic’s best friend, flatulence is a warming topic and activists in California get the band back together to ensure the Golden State has no future.

Oh, and we’re kickin’ it old school for the hottie.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

Grab your Sheilas and tinnies and toss another dwarf on the barbie – we’re heading down under to congratulate hippie of the week Tim Flannery.

Some quick context for why Tim’s the big winner – Aussie PM Julia Gillard promised voters there would be no carbon tax under her government.  And she meant every word, right up until she needed the support of Green Bob Brown to form a government and decided a carbon tax sounded just dandy.  Naturally enough, Aussies felt a little hard done by at this brazen u-turn and Julia needed some ‘science’ cover, fast.  Enter Tim Flannery, whom PM Gillard appointed Australian Climate Commissioner.

an artist's impression of Tim Flannery. the artist was fired

So far, so much politics.  But then Flannery gave an interview with Andrew Bolt and said this:

 

I just need to clarfy in terms of the climate context for you. If we cut emissions today, global temperatures are not likely to drop for about a thousand years.

That hissing sound you hear is the air rushing out of Gillard’s arguments that a carbon tax is needed to save the planet.  Or it may be the sound of her political career doing a Dion.  The writing is on the wall for Aussie’s current government and when they are obliterated at the next election, Tim Flannery won’t be able to buy a beer anywhere in Oz.

Onya, Tim.

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Hippie organizations are rallying around the beleagured EPA, desperately trying to protect their gravy train last hope of clean air.  Did you know Republicans want to poison babies?  They eat kittens for breakfast too.  Cute ones.

Miners meet hippies as they try to occupy a Scottish mine.  Hippies lose.  Badly.

Hippies hate civilization.  And soap, but that’s almost the same thing.  Caruba outs the anti-energy hippie cult.

Religious folk believe global warming is the cause of natural disasters, not God.  None of the people surveyed were named Noah, apparently.

In some worlds the UN IPCC is a body of scientists respected for their work on climate change.  In Donna Laframboise’s world the UN IPCC is a frog on a dissection board.  No, really:

…certain names pop up again and again in IPCC reports. If shadowy interests were trying to “control the message” in these documents, entrusting key tasks to a small group of people might be an effective strategy.

She names names, you should RTWT.

Alberta students create their own electricity from pedal power. They get great light from a CFL, but can’t operate the griddle.  Next week – the tragic story of an epileptic student who starved to death.

Breaking up is hard to do.  Joltin’ Joe Romm no longers hearts Obama,

The WWF considered not having Earth Hour in Japan, but then went ahead anyway after hundreds of thousands of people went to all the trouble of losing everything.

America is fighting three hot wars, Japan is devastated and Kirstie Alley is back on TV, but none of these horrifying events bother hippies.  They’re too concerned about how many times you are allowed to fart before Gaia keels over.

Dancing with the Stars, sponsored by Chiropractors of America

Al Gore, the incredible shrinking guru, was wrong about sea level rise.  Say it ain’t so.

The Catlin team hasn’t needed rescuing yet, but they have noticed the weather near the pole is very cold.  Nature is holding the front page.

Pop quiz – do you wear underwear?  If yes, you’re a climate criminal.  If no, um, keep that to yourself.

The Natural Resources Defense Council held a charity auction fund-raiser in New York.  One of the top prizes was the chance to win a flight with Harrison Ford in his private plane.  Face, meet palm.

Some hard truths for hippies that love to anthropomorphize Gaia:

The environmentalist’s unnatural love affair with nature would be no more intrusive or offensive than the nut job’s love affair with a rock. The difference is that the environmentalist relentlessly coerces everyone into his indulgent fantasy — a grim world predicated on privation and scarcity.  To the environmentalist’s mind, nature is like a female mammalian: she can give only so much before the teat runs dry.

Good grief.  Grist wants us to embrace ‘queer ecology.‘  Stand aside for climate pianist Elton John, or something.

NASA is worried about the Amazon.  Apparently it’s dry, which is bad news for global warming.  We’d have more information to assess their findings if they hadn’t blown up Glory on launch.  Pull up your socks NASA, it’s not like this is rocket sci.. oh, nevermind.

A German has a master plan for society.  What could possibly go wrong?

Simon has found the dumbest place in Oz.  Congratulations, Fremantle, The Daily Bayonet has awarded you a special trophy, simply send $1,000 for shipping and it’s yours.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Everyone likes a good poll dance – Rasmussen says Americans have a fevah and the only cure is more bird shredders, but Gallup says Americans don’t give a hoot about global warming.  Pesky public, perpetrating poll perfidy to perplex the people.

Nissan Leaf owners have another reason to doubt their sanity- the resale value is… zero.  Their only hope is that sales remain stalled, they may be able to sell their EV as a collector’s item or curiosity.  Believe it or not, Leaf owners, it could be worse – you could have bought a Prius plug-in.

America has the most fossil fuel reserves in the world, they’re just not allowed to use them.

California’s ex-Governor Schwarzenegger said San Francisco would drown unless global warming laws were passed, and he was right:

According to the San Jose Mercury News the California Drought will be officially over when Governor Jerry Brown announces it tomorrow.  We have areas in the Sierras that have over 50 feet of snow and the reservoirs are filling up fast with a total group average of 115% of normal and the snow-melt hasn’t even started yet.

Oh noes, the public is bored with global warming.

Mighty Borepatch bringeth the snark to the sad state of UK science.

Climate models, the basis for retooling the global economy back to the stone-age, suck at predicting ocean temperature.

Tom Nelson, #winning:

Two three-minute official Earth Hour videos are below.  The 2010 video is all about the global warming hoax.  The 2011 video fails to even mention the global warming hoax. Make no mistake: this is what winning looks like.  Of course, most alarmists are never going to come right out and admit that on The Most Important Issue of All Time, they were wrong and we were right.  What they’re going to do is just gradually quit talking about it.

Evergreen alarmist Weepy Bill McKibben will say just about anything to frighten folks into believing global warming is all bad, including that it is bad for crops.  Yeah, notsomuch, actually.  More good news for plants we like to eat here.

this image may have been cropped

A carbon accounting modeler says global warming is a scam:

… in science empirical evidence always trumps theory, no matter how much you are in love with the theory. If theory and evidence disagree, real scientists scrap the theory. But official climate science ignored the crucial weather balloon evidence, and other subsequent evidence that backs it up, and instead clung to their carbon dioxide theory — that just happens to keep them in well-paying jobs with lavish research grants, and gives great political power to their government masters.

Try to get past the irony of a ‘carbon accounting modeler’ picking on climate scientists for wanting well-paid jobs based on junk science.  If you can.

Plastic bags are innocent.  In fact, they are better for Gaia than hippie alternatives.

Watts Up With That comments on The Daily Bayonet:

Congratulations on being added to the WUWT blogroll.  Skewer on…

Not only is Anthony Watts a wise, discerning man of great taste, he has some mighty fine commenters as well (h/t reader Kevin):

So you see, the leading environmentalists do not want clean energy. They want the de-industrialisation of the developed world, the population of the world reduced from its current 6.8 billion people down to between 100 million and 500 million people who will live like stone age cavemen, apart from a chosen few who will get to serve the elite as their slaves.

RTWT.

Good news, as Antarctica ice breaks up, the ocean absorbs more CO2.  Hippies are likely to be upset that ungrateful Gaia gets along just fine without them.

A long, fun list of things both caused and not caused by global warming, as claimed by global warmists. It’s like The List 2.0.

Uh oh, hippie opposition to nuclear energy causes more global warming.  Why do they hate the planet so?

Part Four: AGW in the News

Nestlé’s Chairman spoke out about how biofuels cause starvation:

Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, the chairman of Nestlé, lashed out at the Obama administration for promoting the use of ethanol made from corn, at the expense of hundreds of millions of people struggling to afford everyday basics made from the crop.

Even the Guardian has had enough of ethanol.  What they all overlook is that killing poor people isn’t a bug in environmentalism, it’s a feature.

The UK is to turn off streetlights on motorways to save carbon emissions.  What could possibly go wrong?

Californians can rejoice that the folks who ensured Prop. 23 was defeated are banding back together to make sure the global warming laws are enforced:

“Clean energy creates jobs and investment, and that’s exactly what we need to help turn our economy around,” Mr. Brown said in a statement. “Californians for Clean Energy and Jobs will be a strong voice to ensure that California leads the nation in sustainable energy technology.”

Next week – news of a house building boom in Texas.

Carbon taxes are toxic to voters, even if CO2 isn’t.  Julia Gillard was given a peek into her future in the NSW elections.

Hippies hate pretty butterflies and rare birds.  There’s no other purpose for building giant fans, is there?  Unless you want to deafen people, that is.

Let’s see the greens square this circle – they oppose new clean nuclear energy plants, and have used the Japanese problems to escalate fears.  But electric vehicle owners don’t want to buy cars that are fuelled by fossil fuels:

If the events unfolding in Japan lead governments to question the safety and viability of nuclear power, then new plants will be slow to come online. If car buyers know that their EV is likely burning the same CO2-emitting fossil fuels as their neighbor’s internal combustion engine, what’s the point of paying more for something that’s just as dirty, more expensive and not as easy to fuel up?

It’s not the crime, but the cover-up that kills you.  A lesson that Aussie dam operators seem about to learn.  Inventing data is usually no problem (for climate scientists) but not such a great idea if it’s just to hide the fact you may have exacerbated the flooding in Queensland.

The EU calls for cars to be banned from city centers.  Maybe we should all get back on horses… or maybe not.

Louise Gray says Antarctica is going green, but apparently not in the good way.

Forbes looks at the promise of the green energy economy and wonders why we’d want to go back to the 13th century.

What rhymes with NIMBY?  Hippie!  Sort of, if you squint a little:

“Often, many of the same groups urging us to think globally about renewable energy are acting locally to stop the very same renewable energy projects that could create jobs and reduce greenhouse gas emissions”

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Part Five: Global Hottie

This week we go back in time to the long-forgotten 90’s to find our hottie.  Her most recent infamous role was as star of the Splattergate ‘No Pressure’ movie.  Things have been tough for global hottie Gillian Anderson since then, it sounds like she can’t land any decent parts.  That’s not say she doesn’t have good parts, of course.

"I'd click it" - Fox Mulder

Thanks for reading.