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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 28th 2011

A hippie accidentally discovers the solution to the US debt crisis, Ethan Hawke has some ‘splaining to do and Australia gets its Kris Kristofferson on.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

The editorial department of the Bayonet is scrambling as we have a last-minute substitution for Hippie of the Week. Grist writer Robert Jensen was all-set for a moment of glory, but alas his victory was snatched away by the jaws of a polar bear. Almost literally. Instead, the HOTW is none other than polar bear researcher Charles Monnett.

Monnett has been placed on administrative leave while an investigation into allegations of ‘”integrity issues” is held. Specifically, it looks like Monnett made up a bunch of stuff about polar bears and global warming:

Gleason, the second author in both papers, has told the investigators that none of the polar bears in either article had anything real to do with global warming (and they haven’t even mentioned the term global warming) and Monnett has added this spin to his interpretations (which has surely sweetened his life until 2011, I add).

As you may determine if you study some literature, Charles Monnett is the world’s main scientist behind the idea that polar bears are increasingly drowning because of global warming – something that added a couple of scenes to Al Gore’s movie (which was a part of the investigation as well), too. Until these days, he de facto controlled the U.S. Arctic Wildlife research and decided about $50 million of its funding

"global warming you say? tell me more..."

How do you secure $50 million in funding for Arctic Wildlife research? Oh, wait, I know. Link everything to global warming.  I refer readers to a snarky line from many posts ago:

“If there is another extinction event coming, rest assured the only reason to blame mankind is because someone, somewhere needs a study funded.”

Climate science is all about money, always.

Part Two: Warmists & Alarmists

We’re saved! Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard is paying a high political price for her carbon tax, but it worked:

Australia has experienced its coldest autumn since at least 1950 for mean temperatures (average of maximum and minimum temperatures across the nation) with an Australian average of 20.9oC. This was 1.15oC below the historical average, and 0.2oC below the previous coolest autumn in 1960. It was also the coldest autumn since at least 1950 for Queensland and the Northern Territory.

The UK’s Minister of Silly Walks Energy and Climate Change Chris Huhne moved from calling skeptics Hitler to being none too pleased that Euro MP’s blocked his favorite green legislation. Huhne embraced the democratic process and accepted his loss graciously. Oh wait, no he didn’t. He demanded an enquiry into how much cash Euro-MP’s took from Big Oil. The ironing department tells us it may be Huhne who ends up facing charges for being a pervert, or something.

Weather is not climate, except when it’s summer. Clear? No? Okay let me explain again. Weather isn’t climate, except when it is. Got it?

the dog days of global warming summer. Siriusly

Hippies confuse me. If I understand things correctly, pumping water into the ground to release much-needed natural gas is bad, but pumping a dangerous pollutant into the ground to achieve nothing at all is perfectly fine. Did I miss something? Can Ethan Hawke explain the difference?

Oh noes, Gaia baked us all to death in five years ago. Wait, what?

Good news for warmists everywhere, FEMA has discovered some sea-level rise numbers that make the IPCC’s look positively wimpy:

…the rule for climate hysteria seems to be: Trumpet the infallibility of the IPCC when its numbers are scariest, but ignore the IPCC when somebody else has scarier predictions.

True dat. In other sea level news, a once-great Roman port now has a two-mile walk to the sea, and Aussie hippie Tim Flannery is possibly the bravest warmist since Al Gore.

Patrick Curry of The Guardian says hippies must resist capitalism:

Along with human overpopulation, the principal driver of the accelerating eco-crisis – anthropogenic climate change, biodiversity crash, destruction and degradation of wild habitat, and a virtual holocaust of animal species – is precisely capitalism. Far from being realistic, to propose as a solution more of what is causing the problem is nothing less than delusional.

Curry is a genius, maybe he should be put in charge of US debt negotiations. Or is that different somehow?

Al Gore (remember him) says the Great Lakes are in danger because of slightly milder weather allegedly caused by a trace gas essential to life on Earth. Or as he likes to call it, a ‘climate crisis’. Also, the Goreacle says US debt crisis is exactly like the global warming, because of the Tea Party, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, or something. Note to Al, you forgot to mention the Koch Brothers. Do try to keep up with the approved list of evil-doers.

NASA GISS colored the Arctic red, because it’s prettier that way, and also looks like it’s getting hotter. Which would be a wild guess since they have no way of knowing what’s going on North of 80.

Good news, another warmist hippie is behind bars. Tim DeChristopher, auction disruptor and starry-eyed hero to Weepy Bill McKibben faces a couple of years in the slammer for his actions. But Weepy Bill is inspired:

He [DeChristopher] didn’t damage anything except the pride of the Bureau of Land Management, when he posed as a bidder and won 14 parcels of land at an oil-and-gas lease auction. They were gorgeous pieces of land that he protected — but far more, he was acting on behalf of every landscape left on the planet. Because the oil and gas under that ground needs to stay there. The carbon it contains is, we now know, ruinous — it’s what is heating the atmosphere, setting new temperature records every day. If you sweated through last week’s record heat, if your crops are withering in the southwest’s epic drought, if you watched the Mississippi swallow your town — then Tim DeChristopher acted for you.

Minx the Merciless finds the IPCC’s Chief Railway engineer’s description of ‘Distinguished Scientist’ somewhat lacking:

To recap, then: Teske appears to have no more than a Masters degree. He has been a Greenpeace activist and employee for the past 17 years. Depending on which press release you read he is either an expert in renewable energy or on nuclear matters (in the Greenpeace world, these are not the same thing). Perhaps Pachauri and journalist Stanford would care to explain which part of Teske’s CV makes him a distinguished scientist.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Climate science is dismantled in a comparison of the junk being peddled today with climate science from the 1960’s:

…these difficult and technical questions were studied rationally in the 1960s; but they are no longer studied rationally today. The contemporary authors such as Solomon et al. have neither the expertise nor the scientific integrity to figure out where the aerosols are coming from and what’s happening with them. Consequently, they can’t make any justifiable predictions about the future evolution of the concentrations of these aerosols, either.

Instead of analyzing hundreds of numbers describing various elements etc. in the aerosol samples – which is what the 1965 paper is made out of – Solomon et al. are only interested in one, scientifically unimportant number – the average forcing that aerosols may be adding or subtracting from the energy fluxes that determine the global mean temperature. Needless to say, they usually want to show that this number is low because aerosols shouldn’t threaten the “climate monopoly” that has been assigned to the carbon dioxide by all these assholes. On the other hand, when they’re running into real trouble – e.g. when they predict a huge warming for a decade but they get a cooling – they want the aerosols to “explain” the discrepancy

RTWT, as they say.

Uh oh, global warming makes sea level rise decelerate? You mean we’re saved?

Auto manufacturers have decided that enough is enough with CAFE standards, and turn on the Obama Adminstration for insisting on impossible emissions standards.

Remember when global warming would cause more forest fires? Yeah, nevermind.

Tom Nelson has advice for those who think Joe Romm might be a credible source of anything more than fresh spittle. If you require further convincing, try this.

Christopher Monckton, coming soon to a MMA Arena near you?

…Monckton had no slides, no graphs, and only part of one hour, and was faced with tough questions from seasoned journalists, 100 stacked seats of activists who hate him, and yet in that time 9% of the people who saw the debate and thought we needed to act on CO2, changed their mind.

He then delivered a roundhouse kick to Australia’s common sense and the Convoy of No Confidence was born:

Convoy number 1. Please put BROWN balloon/streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 2.Please put PINK balloon/streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 3. Please put LIGHT BLUE balloon/streamers to show your convoy.
Brisbane Convoy 4. Please put YELLOW balloon /streamers to show your convoy.
Brisbane Convoy 5. Please put WHITE balloon /streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 6. Please put ORANGE balloon/ streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 7.Please put PURPLE balloon / streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 8.Please put RED balloon/streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 9. Your colour is GREY
Convoy number 10. Please put BLACK balloon/streamers to show your convoy.
Convoy number 11. Please put DARK BLUE balloon / streamers to show your convoy.

Observant readers may notice a color is missing from the list. Heh.

And now, a musical interlude.

..

 Stop the EPA. No, really. Stop them.

You know what carbon credits are like? Tony Soprano, that’s what.

Green on green, Yale scares up some scaremongers to bash President Obama. It’s fun for the whole family.

Oops, don’t you love it when hippies hurry to claim everything dangerous  is caused by global warming and the truth accidentally slips out?

Doctors for the Environment Australia (DEA) receive a tongue-lashing from Paua, and not in the good way.

You can believe what hippies say is happening to the climate, or you can believe what governments prepare for.

You can believe what hippies say we need to do to save Gaia, or you can believe what the smart money is doing:

The UK’s energy market white paper is too vague to encourage green investment – Funding for wind farms slowing down due to low average wind speeds which are depressing rates of return.

It’s the Sun, stupid. NASA says so:

NASA satellite data from the years 2000 through 2011 show the Earth’s atmosphere is allowing far more heat to be released into space than alarmist computer models have predicted, reports a new study in the peer-reviewed science journal Remote Sensing. The study indicates far less future global warming will occur than United Nations computer models have predicted, and supports prior studies indicating increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide trap far less heat than alarmists have claimed.

Greenpeace’s involvement with the IPCC and the Edenhofer excuse. It sounds exciting in an Osterman Weekend way, but isn’t.

How global warming muppet Jim Hanson made lots of money while doing his best to ensure the world went broke.

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Part Four: Global Hottie

There’s a newish movie in which a train blows up. Over and over again.  It’s like Groundhog Day but with TNT and movie science, which is more reliable than climate science, but still junk.  Source Code is okay, but does get bonus points for featuring this week’s global hottie, Michelle Monaghan. It’s her first time on the round-up, be nice.

*click*

Thanks for reading. There will be no round-up next week, it will be back again August 11th.