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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Feb.16th 2012

Breaking the ice isn’t as easy as it used to be, the walrus of love may be endangered, and will we ever learn the secret of the zombie seal mummies of the Antarctic?

Astute readers will notice that the h-word is back in the post title, because, well because, that’s why.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

It would be churlish to not award HOTW to the exuberant hippies at DeSmogBlog. They are genuinely chuffed to little pieces about documents they claim prove the Heartland Institute funded climate skeptic scientists and bloggers.

A full post on the topic was posted yesterday, in case you missed it. The short version is that warmists are far too happy about sharing the fact they’ve been out-messaged, out-played and out-classed by a small group of scientists and writers who had access to a tiny fraction of the financial resources given to the global warming community.

As soon as the news broke, the usual suspects swarmed on to the revelations as if it had never been possible an organization might support others of like mind. I guess they never heard of George Soros, or ever gave a second thought to where Al Gore found $300 million to advertise global warming. Bless their little hemp socks.

Since yesterday’s post, the Heartland Institute has released an official comment. It seems that a lot of what was published was true, but the document titled Confidential Memo: 2012 Heartland Climate Strategy is a fake:

One document, titled “Confidential Memo: 2012 Heartland Climate Strategy,” is a total fake apparently intended to defame and discredit The Heartland Institute. It was not written by anyone associated with The Heartland Institute. It does not express Heartland’s goals, plans, or tactics. It contains several obvious and gross misstatements of fact.

It looks like someone wasn’t content with getting their hands on the numbers, but felt the need to further gild the lily. Don’t be surprised, these are warmists, exaggerating data and making up stuff is what they do.

Heartland intends to pursue whoever persuaded an insider to send them the documents:

The stolen documents were obtained by an unknown person who fraudulently assumed the identity of a Heartland board member and persuaded a staff member here to “re-send” board materials to a new email address. Identity theft and computer fraud are criminal offenses subject to imprisonment. We intend to find this person and see him or her put in prison for these crimes.

This threat has hippies howling in protest. How, they cry, can Heartland go after the ‘whistleblower’ in this case and not have a problem with Climategate? But that argument is irrelevant. Heartland has no control over the investigation into the leaks from East Anglia’s motley CRU, and it’s not Heartland’s fault if the authorities are too inept to find the leaker, or hacker, whichever it was.

But, consider this. Given the efficiency and effectiveness of Heartland’s donations in the fight against the global warming alarmist movement, there’s little doubt that the person who impersonated a staff member in order to get the ‘secret’ documents will be found, and perhaps prosecuted.

For now, we congratulate the DeSmogBlog crew for their big score and winning Hippie of the Week, and we look forward to the inevitable, delicious fallout when it all blows up in their faces.

Part Two: Warmists

You may recall the Grister who felt so guilty about flying to a wedding that she vowed to offset all her carbon emissions for the trip. It’s not going well, so she decided to do what hippies always do, get everyone to pay for her jaunt:

Frustrated with my slow progress, I reached outside of myself and realized that, you know what? It takes a village to offset 1,858 pounds of CO2, and I’m going to get my neighbors involved in the effort, whether they like it or not. So I set out to start a compost program for my building.

Funny how only she took the flight, but it takes the entire building to offset her personal travel, huh? So much for the worth of her ‘vow’ to Gaia:

I vow to directly and personally offset every pound of carbon dioxide created by our Seattle-Denver-Austin-Marfa excursion by cutting back on my carbon footprint at home.

This was going to win Elisabeth Kwak-Hefferan the coveted HOTW, before DeSmog stole it from under her nose.

Phil Jones, front man of the motley CRU, came in for some criticism for flying to Tahiti for a conference. It turns out that Prof. Jones has flown 250,000 miles in the last five years. Why does he hate Gaia so?

Weepy Bill McKibben blamed global warming for the damage done to his home state of Vermont  by Hurricane Irene, because Bill doesn’t know the difference between weather and climate, among many other things. He’s pretending to be Dan Rather and urging the Senate to have ‘courage’ when it comes to supporting the President’s Keystone kibosh.

Aussie socialists want people to drive windmills to work, or something.

Canadian academic Ian Clark suggests environmentalists have lost their way:

The environmental movement has lost its way. Saving whales and fighting for endangered species were worthy causes, but taking on the oil sands at any cost and any misrepresentation of the facts will accomplish nothing good for Canadians.

We have many serious environmental problems from overfishing of the oceans, coastal eutrophication, and habitat loss. Let’s focus on those. Perhaps we use too much energy and need more conservation. This will come through education and technologies to improve efficiencies. Let’s focus on that. Cutting off the oil sands energy supply will not reduce our addiction to fossil fuels. It will only require North Americans to import more.

Hippies are the ultimate ‘party of no’ and default to knee-jerk opposition of anything related to increasing energy supply. Which is why some folks call them an enemy of America.

The Met. Office has a warm bias. 11 of their last 12 year predictions for global temperatures have been too high. That’s not good, but because this is pointed out by the BBC, we get bonus tortured logic:

Some scientists who I have spoken to suggest that one of problems is the lack of observations in the Arctic, which is known to have warmed faster than other parts of the world.  They point out that if proper account was taken of this area of the world, then the overall observed global temperature would be higher, a point acknowledged by the Met Office when I spoke to them earlier this week.

In short, it could be that the observations are wrong, with computer predictions right all along.

Pesky nature, not following the models.

Oh noes, global warming will ruin Valentines Day. The walrus of love hardest hit.

how YOU doin'?

The Guardian choked out the news that Himalayan glaciers aren’t melting as predicted, but warns readers not to jump to ‘simplistic conclusions’. Like climate ‘scientists’ and journalists are full of it. Yeah that sort of simplistic conclusion.

Good news, the UN is plotting a global green economy. What could possibly go wrong?

Remember the BBC ‘Weather Test’ that was to pitch the Met Office against Piers Corbyn and others? It’s descended into farce, in large part because the BBC man leading the effort has credibility issues:

…seven of the eight forecasters and bodies asked to take part have not agreed, with two blaming Mr Harrabin for undermining the study’s credibility, claiming that his reputation is tarnished by his close links to green groups who believe in man-made climate change.

Australia’s government is spinning faster than a wind turbine in a cyclone to make the carbon tax something the public will swallow. Yeah, good luck with that. At least they can still get to the kids, even if the parents aren’t buying it.

Oh noes, a German business that wanted to attach large sails to boats to save the planet, is going out of business. The founder of the firm has vowed to return with a new venture making buggy whips. I may have made that up.

Being a warmist teacher means never having to say you’re sorry. Or wrong:

On the one hand, here is our advisory note  in which we tell you: ‘climate change was a complicated topic many found “daunting and confusing” and could be controversial, leading to many different opinions.’

On the other hand, here are our teaching materials which tell you: ‘a single conclusion, that carbon dioxide was virtually solely responsible for driving climate change and presented a range of “apocalyptic scenarios”.‘.

Uh oh, flying tundra, it’s back.

The IPCC gets another Donna-oscopy as she discovered there might be a little groupthink going on at Raj’s Policy Palace:

Before they began promoting the idea that human-caused global warming is a planetary emergency shouldn’t the authorities have done a bit of due diligence? Shouldn’t they have gone to some trouble to assure themselves that this conclusion wasn’t a case of groupthink within the relatively small, relatively insular climate science community?

But that’s not all, for this week, Minx the Merciless pointed her ray gun of doom at the hapless Royal Society:

..in recent years, while few of us were paying attention, the Royal Society was taken for a joyride. Three centuries of tradition were impulsively abandoned.  Pronouncements are now issued from the mountaintop about who is right and who is wrong regarding scientific questions. Moreover, the Society has become a hive of political activity – releasing press statements, making demands on politicians, criticizing democratically elected presidents in foreign countries, and harassing corporations.

Word to the wise among the climate community, don’t make her come after you, and if she does, don’t run. You’ll just die tired. Oh, and buy her book, it might just buy you some time.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

This is awkward. As DeSmog tries to convince the world that a couple of hundred grand from the Koch Bros is enough to discredit the Heartland Institute, Vivian Krause reveals that Canadian green groups have received $95 million in foreign funds. Note to hippies, Canadian chicks are out to get you, and not in the good way.

Oh noes, zombie seal mummies of the Antarctic fell victim to bad weather, or something, and microbes are thriving:

Mummified seals now reveal that communities of microbes in Antarctica can change much faster than previously thought, scientists find. The results suggest that climate change, and the subsequent alterations to the environment, such as temperature changes, would likely lead to drastic microbial changes as well.

If pesky nature can quickly adapt to changing climate, why do we need giant bird shredders?

A certain mannic scientist has tried to beat the Medieval Warming Period out of existence with a bent stick, but pesky ice cores prove the region was warm after all. Hockey sticks hardest hit.

States are suing the EPA over its soot rules. They’re lawsoots, or something.

The Danube is frozen over, so if you ever had the urge to actually waltz on the blue Danube, now’s your chance. The European cold winter also has 120 ships locked in ice in the Kerch Straight. Heckuva time to be short on icebreakers. If you’re wondering how that might have happened, take a guess:

…why did the NSF not properly maintain the US icebreaking fleet?  Could it be the faith in its own belief that global warming is reducing ice cover and therefore spending money on icebreakers would be a waste?

For warmists, good news is no news.

GOP Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum is the only candidate who didn’t fall for the climate caper, and he’s doubling down on his skeptic credentials:

“You hear all the time, the left: ‘Oh, the conservatives are the anti-science party.’ No we’re not. We’re the truth party,” the former Pennsylvania senator said at a campaign event in Oklahoma City. “Because the left is always looking for a way to control you. They’re always trying to make you feel guilty so you’ll give them power so they can lord it over you. They do it on the environment all the time.”

Can’t say if Santorum is a viable opponent to Obama or not, but he didn’t play tonsil hockey with Nancy Pelosi on a couch, so there’s that.
The wind industry in the UK is lobbying hard to keep subsidies flowing to keep the bird shredders turning. The government is likely to end subsidies for domestic heat pumps as costs soar, and the wind barons are trying to avoid the same fate.
The science is settled rattled.
Oh noes, climate change is caused by clouds and sunshine. Poets hardest hit.

Stimulus money was supposed to create green jobs. But in areas of wealth and full employment like Los Angeles, all they could find to spend the cash on was new motors for the city yacht:

You might think with the city in dire financial straits that they might sell off the yacht (which Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa insists on calling “a boat”). Instead, L.A. is “investing” $489,000 in federal taxpayer stimulus money to install new engines. Not that there is anything wrong with the old engines. Rather, it is that they run on diesel fuel (and hence fail to meet California emissions standards) and so are being swapped out for low-emission “green” hybrid motors.

A physicist has strong words for warmists:

Scientific revolutions are difficult and traumatic enough without the added inertia of government sponsorship. To put it more bluntly, scientists have difficulty enough admitting that they have egg on their faces. Throw in the Solyndras of the world and the United Nations and the entire anti-capitalist Global Left and the backing out of this theory will be nothing short of a fiasco.

If someone were, for instance, to come up with indisputable evidence tomorrow that CO2 has essentially no impact on earth’s climate, could the world accept it?

Well, I could, for starters.

The Gore Effect on ice – Antarctic Peninsula sea ice is almost double normal

Turns out that green jobs are like much of the green message, just myth.

oops

Another $825 million of US taxpayer cash is likely to disappear, or go mything, if you prefer, and some say the grand total is already $2.7 billion in green boondoggles.

Oh noes, 100-year storms are likely to happen every three years. It’s sort of like dog years, but for weather, or something.

Follow the money. Paul Homewood did, and through some FOIA-fu he discovered that British universities received £72 million for climate research:

It is evident that climate change research has become a very large industry in its own right. What university can afford to turn down a million or so every year? How many will risk upsetting the apple cart by allowing dissent in their ranks? How many scientists would be out of a job if the funding tap was turned off?

Let’s be clear about one thing. This sort of money corrupts. It corrupts both individuals and organisations. Climate research funding is agenda driven, rather than result driven; it exists in large part because climate change is perceived as a problem. Research that attempts to prove otherwise is unlikely to be funded at all and even less likely to attract future grants, while scientists who exaggerate the dangers or effects will have no such problems.

Part Four: Global Hottie

Canadian women are making hippie lives awkward, so we’ll finish up with a favorite Canadian round-up hottie, Elisha Cuthbert. Remember, she’s Jack Bauer’s daughter, so be nice.

*click*

Thanks for reading.