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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Feb. 23rd 2012

Dolphins are non-human persons, a man who cut animals in half for fun and profit wants to build eco-homes and Britain saved Kenyan rainmakers from global warming.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

If you didn’t predict this week’s winner, you must live in a cave. If that happens to be the case, welcome, Taliban readers.

Peter Gleick, co-founder and president of the Pacific Institute, faked an identity to solicit and release the same Heartland Institute documents that won DeSmogBlog the HOTW award last week.

The rest, as they say, is comedy.

Peter Gleick, the man behind the curtain

In the days since Gleick’s confession, he’s been tossed under the bus by Time magazine, the AGU, the NCSE, Andy Revkin of DotEarth and even the Pacific Institute is looking sideways at him:

The Board of Directors of the Pacific Institute is deeply concerned and is actively reviewing information about the recent events involving its president, Dr. Peter Gleick, and documents pertaining to the Heartland Institute. Neither the board nor the staff of the Pacific Institute knew of, played any role in, or condones these events. As facts emerge and are confirmed, the Board will inform all stakeholders of our findings and of any actions based on these findings. In the meantime we maintain our commitment to the smooth operations, governance, and mission of the Pacific Institute.

Sounds like mission #1 is to let Gleick slip under the bus. Unless having him sleep with the fishes is more the style at the Pacific Institute. Either way, hippie down.

Gleick isn’t entirely alone. Joe Romm stands shoulder to shoulder with him in spittle-flecked apoplexy. If that makes pesky Pete feel any better, he may be further gone that even Megan McArdle thinks.

The faked memo that turned deniergate into fakegate into Gleickgate remains a mystery. Gleick copped to obtaining and distributing the documents, but not to faking the memo that beclowned the warmist blogosphere. Anthony Watts is crowdsourcing the effort to find the author, which should make whoever wrote it very nervous. If we learned one thing in the last week or so, it’s that skeptics are very, very good at figuring things out:

…sceptics have some obvious strengths. The first and most obvious is an eye to detail and meticulous picking apart of data among a sizeable camp of sceptics. They are used to poring over data, of looking behind the obvious and of teasing things out of the most unlikely sources. These skills are highly prized in sceptic circles – just as they used to be prized in scientific circles.

… Again and again the sceptic camp shows itself to be worthy of the name. Nothing is taken on trust, everything is challenged and the data checked.

The Watts crowd-sourcing effort faces an uphill battle, because the geniuses at DeSmogBlog have already verified the document as real. Brendan DeMille and Richard Littlemore of DeSmog hired a crack team of document specialists and were told the thing was for realsies. Any questions can be directed to the independent document specialists, Brendan DeMille and Richard Littlemore. Wait, what?

We congratulate Peter Gleick for his second HOTW award and wish him luck in his new career making up Amazon reviews.

Part Two: Warmists

Modern art guru Damien Hirst is to build 500 eco-homes in Devon. Rumors that each abode comes complete with a farm animal freshly sliced in two and preserved in formaldehyde were unconfirmed.

Greenpeace leader Kumi Nadoo says “Mother Earth is screaming“, to which the only appropriate response is ‘well get off her foot.” rimshot. I’m here all week, tip your waitress.

Aussie homeowners will have to sort food scraps from other garbage soon, which is a problem for folks who live in a hot climate. No worries, mate, keep it in a second fridge:

Most people will try to keep their food waste in the fridge. At least a fridge offers some hope of keeping the sweet smell of putrefaction to a minimum. Others will no doubt invest in a second fridge solely for garbage purposes, which will soak up some of the fossil fuel energy the touchy-feely councillors and their highly-paid staff dream they are saving.

Oops.

The President of the Royal Society is upset that children don’t know the difference between astronomy and astrology.

Sir Paul Nurse said many young people were unable to distinguish between “nonsense” and science because they are not taught to differentiate between reliable and unreliable information.

Oh noes, the irony meter appears to have blown a fuse. It’s a pity the Royal Society abandoned its principles and cannot help moppets to understand the difference between science and advocacy.

In Australia, school kids may or may not know the difference between staring at stars and that funny pattern left by your lapsang souchong, but they surely know global warming skeptics are bad people:

Despite overwhelming scientific evidence that the planet is warming, there are still people who deny that is a result of human activity. The most vocal of these deniers are conservative political think tanks and the right-wing radio ‘shock jocks’.

For the best snark about what children may or may not know, Tom Nelson has had enormous fun with David Viner’s old prediction that ‘children won’t know what snow looks like’. Enjoy.

The best idea when it comes to teaching climate science is, hey, teacher, leave those kids alone.

Flipper is a fella? Dolphins and whales are so smart, they need to be reclassified as non-human persons. The idea is to make whaling intolerable, or something, but researchers have found that pesky dolphins are smart enough to run a scam on their handlers:

An experiment at the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies in Mississippi in which dolphins were rewarded for clearing rubbish from their enclosures highlighted their remarkable intellectual capabilities. One dolphin named Kelly began hiding large paper bags at the bottom of her tank, ripping them apart and bringing them to her handler one at a time to trick him into giving her multiple rewards.

why the long face?

A senior science writer at Climate Central suggests the top five jobs climate folks can pretend they do so they don’t have to admit they’re working in the climate field. Be proud, hippies.

Oh noes, the California Academy of Sciences figures earthquakes trump global warming when it comes to exhibits.

Computer models are so accurate that pretend fish thrive in balmy Canada, while real ones are ready for the frozen section at the local market before they’re even caught.

To frack, or not to frack. It’s by Weepy Bill, what do you think he says?

It’s 1984 all over again. President Obama’s Ministry of Truth says Republicans, not the President, turned down the Keystone XL pipeline. It’s as close as admission they made a mistake we’ll get, make the most of it.

The UK’s Met Office still wants a new Supercomputer. Also, any mistakes in weather predictions were not made by them, but by ‘non-expert’ reporting:

The National Oceanography Centre told the committee that the Met’s bad rep was “largely due to sensationalist media reporting and shortcomings in how probability and risk were understood by non-experts”.

Wouldn’t it just be easier for the forecasters to cross their fingers when they read out the weather?

Old religion gets new religion and says pollution goes against God’s will.

Remember the global warming will cause jellyfish swarms to devour the planet predictions? Yeah, nevermind.

This section usually ends with a la Laframboise moment, but she’s been quiet this week. Maybe she’s been busy with something else. It’s worth noting that the man who left a 1-star review of her book suffered a career-ending scandal this week. Coincidence?

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Carbon taxes are only good for one thing, ending political careers. In Canada, British Columbia is edging toward a reveral of its pioneering carbon tax, while in Australia the cost of their tax is becoming apparent. Already, Julia Gillard is taking the long way to work to avoid bus lanes.

Weather in Australia refuses to follow the warmist narrative, and people who were promised perpetual drought but are awash in rain are beginning to notice.

Half a million Germans are sitting in the dark because they cannot afford power. Thanks, renewables.

Coke may be it, but it’s a Koch who may get hit. Charles Koch gets threats, lots of ‘em.

CO2 is innocent, says Tim Ball:

…CO2 is not a greenhouse gas, as demonstrated in the book Slaying the Sky Dragon. Warmists claim their computer models prove it. Skeptics do it by talking about climate sensitivity. They are both wrong, but the Skeptics are still practicing science and will adjust their views. It’s the difference between the science and political science of climatology.

Wind power in America finally runs out of other people’s money and suddenly is no longer a good idea.

Going green only makes sense if you hate Gaia:

…when environmentalists convinced Congress to reduce the amount of water in toilet tanks, the only thing they accomplished was to require that the newer, smaller tanks had be flushed twice to rid he toilet of feces and urine, i.e., more use of water, not less. The EPA has just issued a ruling they claim is necessary to reduce mercury emissions despite the fact that your average volcanic eruption puts more into the atmosphere than any human imposed restrictions could ever achieve. Congress, however, passed a law banning 100-watt incandescent light bulbs, thus requiring people to purchase mercury-filled ones that, if broken, require a hazmat team to clean up after.

Environmentalism is essentially irrational.

As wind power and solar projects fall apart at huge cost to the nations daft enough to chase the green dream, another green dream is born. Tidal power. It’s time to fillet fish with giant propellers of doom in their soggy habitat, they’ve had it too easy for too long.

non-human persons hardest hit

Climate science is junk science. If nothing else it explains why they won’t share their data.

Uh oh. We could burn ALL of Canada’s oilsands and it wouldn’t make a difference to Gaia:

Swart and Weaver conclude the impact of burning all the economically viable proven reserve of Alberta’s oilsands — all 170 billion barrels — would be negligible. Burning all the proven reserve between 2012 and 2062, they say, would raise global temperatures by just 0.02 C to 0.05 C. Burning up all the oil in the areas currently being mined would have even less impact.

Take that, hippies.

Al Gore went to Antarctica to watch the ice melt, just in time for a new study to find that there’s been no ice loss in 30 years. Pesky science.

The ‘scientific consensus’, deconstructed:

One might infer from the Trenberth letter that scientific facts are determined by majority vote. Some postmodern philosophers have made such claims. But scientific facts come from observations, experiments and careful analysis, not from the near-unanimous vote of some group of people.

The EU might be heading into a trade war over its plans to tax airlines for their emissions. Another brewing trade war with Canada has just been averted over the oilsands, for now at least. Perhaps when the Euro fall apart, the EU will stop acting daft and get on with the important stuff again, like determining how bendy bananas should be.

The UK spent £1.5 billion fighting global warming overseas. Some of it was spent on methodology climate scientists would instantly recognize :

A project in western Kenya to help indigenous Nganyi rainmakers, who were being undermined by extreme weather conditions caused by changes in the climate, was launched in 2008 as part of a £25 million climate change adaptation programme funded by Dfid. The project aimed to bring the rainmakers together with Government meteorologists to produce a “consensus forecast” before relaying it back to village farmers, who were said to be losing trust in traditional methods which could not cope with the apparent changes in climate.

Even Kenyan rainmakers know that lousy forecasts are caused by global warming, not, er, lousy forecasts.

The Whitehouse missed a deadline to release Solyndra documentation, because SHUT UP.

Words to strike fear into a hippie heart: “Is catastrophic global warming, like the Millenium Bug, a mistake?“Fortunately, greens are able to rely on sound scientific theory and their personal integrity to persuade people not to make a comparison between Y2K and global warming. Oh, wait.

Part Four: Global Hottie

This week’s hottie comes by special request, and while the emailer forgot to attach a bag of money to his plea for some Mary Louise Parker to grace the round-up, I couldn’t think of a good reason not to oblige. You’re welcome, cheapskate.

*gleick* ;-)

Thanks for reading.