Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Dec. 3rd 2009

Where is Al Gore’s secret climategate-proof bunker?  Has Heinz saved the planet? Does Hopenchangen have a chance of achieving anything?  Dive in and discover the answers to these questions, and more.  Plus, of course a hottie.  Because you’re worth it.

For Climategate news see the special edition round-ups parts One, Two, Three, Four and Five.  For an announcement about a forthcoming poll and your chance to participate, lookee here.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

The Goreacle has been largely absent from the climategate fallout, largely because he’s been, well, hiding.  Not only has his precious hockey stick been debunked, but now the whole mess of science behind Al’s personal enrichment save-the-planet hoax has been called into question.  What else is the face of global warming going to do when the peasants get uppity?

Al blogged from his secret bunker that he was super happy that his BFF Barack Obama would be joining him for Hopenchangen in Copenhagen next week.

He also blogged that the time is up for short-term capitalism, but fortunately there is still enough time for you to pay Al $1200 for a book and a handshake, of course.  That’s for the cause, not capitalism.  God forbid that an ex-Vice-President of the United States of America be pro-capitalism or anything.

In the absence of real news about the great propheteer, let’s giggle at some spoof news instead.

Canada’s little alarmist totalitarian, David Suzuki, came out in the press to face the climategate fallout, using all the lefty talking points to pretend that the event that has blown their cozy little hoax into a billion pieces is no biggie, really.  Then, Eco-Dave makes a mistake, quite a big one:

Sadly for the deniers and for all of us, the emails don’t show that global warming is a grand hoax or conspiracy. They do nothing to diminish the decades of overwhelming scientific evidence that the Earth is not only warming largely because of emissions from burning fossil fuels but that it’s worse than we thought. Recently, 26 scientists from Germany, France, Switzerland, Austria, Canada, the U.S., and Australia released a report showing that the impacts of global warming are occurring faster and are more widespread than other reports from the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change had projected.

Unfortunately for David Suzuuki, one of the the lead authors of that report is none other than Michael Mann, one of climategate’s central figures, which sort of undermines its credibility.  Oops.

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

The sea is an unpredictable mistress, in fact she’s a downright conundrum.  How else to explain that global warming will cause the sea to rise 1 metre by 2100.  No wait, that’s 2 metres, stupid.  No wait, my bad, it’s 4½ feet.  But the science is settled, see?

However high the waters rise, they’ll be warmer, which is bad news for coral and fish ‘n’ stuff.  Too bad, if they’d gotten on with it and evolved legs, we wouldn’t have to wreck the economy for an anemone.

Prince Chuckles Mum, the Queen, decides that a life of privilege and undereducation is an excellent platform from which to warn the great unwashed about global warming.  Isn’t there an island with natives that want to meet her or something?

Moonbats were sighted over Toronto.  Nothing unusual about that, except that this was Moonbat Prime. If you’re interested in what he had to say, it’s here in all its Canada-bashing glory.

An eco-terrorist is brought to justice.  In China.  That made my day, honestly.

Britain’s NHS might be falling apart and killing people faster than global warming, but that’s no good reason that family doctors shouldn’t give climate change advice to patients.  Something like this maybe: “take 2 aspirin and install mercury toxic bombs in your house”

Some dude says that Arctic sea ice is nearly gone, again.

When polls attack, part XXXIV.  But wait, is there more to this story than meets the eye?  Pollgate?

Celebrities flock to Hopenchangen.  In private jets.  Awkward.

Global warming muppet James Hansen wants the Copenhagen talks to fail.  Because he’s hardcore, see.

Alarmists love to scare children, because the kids are too polite to tell them that global warming is a crock.  Or something.

Green alarmists have no idea how scary they are sometimes.  Like this guy, calling for skeptics to be silenced.  Would you like a side of totalitarianism with that intolerance, sir?

The mask slips and a delicious new label is born: CO²mmunists.  I wish I’d thought of that.

Climate scaremongers meet Harry Twilight, or something.

Rajendra Pauchari, IPCC head honcho, has killed a billion polar bears with his airmiles.  But he’s got a great plan – let’s suck the carbon from the air.  Kinda like sucking the soul out of the global economy?

An economist thinks that there is more money for skeptics than warmists.  My bank balance begs to differ, Big Oil seems to have lost my address.  Also, how inconvenient are facts, sometimes?

California’s hydro power may be under threat, but they won’t have an economy left soon, so no biggie.

A diagnosis for alarmists, oh fudge it.

Oh noes, global warming pushes poor women to prostitution. Add it to the list.  I suspect the alarmists to be the real whores, somehow.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

As if the Medieval Warm Period wasn’t bad enough, now there’s a pesky Roman Warm Period too.  Why else did Nero’s Rome burn, it was globulus warmus maximus, of course.

Heinz, the makers of baked beans, have reduced their emissions.  You know this has to be done:

..

Dr. Roy goes all Letterman with his Top 10 annoyances of the climate change debate.

Wisdom from the slammer, Conrad Black wades in on the global warming debacle.

Ian Plimer says relax, Gaia’s all good.

Weather hysterics would have us convert to wind power, but the giant bird shredders are not exactly reliable. They also wreck the countryside.

For the 2nd week in a row, Jo Nova gets the must read link: A simple proof that global warming is not man-made.

Global warming is killing frogs.  Oh, wait, nevermind.

The scientific method ain’t what it used to be.  You’re telling me:

A comedy of errors in climate science.  It’s a comedy, but not a funny one.

Global warming is less of a threat than the extremists who push it.  You don’t say?

Oh noes, now jet travel has another reason to be avoided.

CO2 is good for life in the oceans.  That doesn’t quite fit the narrative.

The US government pushed for ethanol, but there’s a problem now, and they don’t know what to do.

The UK will spend $9 billion instaling ‘smart meters’ that will save the average family £28 a year.

Hopenchangen was supposed to see China and India sign on, thus ending the big objection against Kyoto.  Oops.

The science was never settled on global warming, it was simply one-sided.

Not long ago, some weak-sauce Republicans supported Waxman-Malarkey.  Not any more.

A poll conducted before the climategate scandal found that support for global warming theory is collapsing.  Let’s see what the polls say after the bombshells landed on the alarmist’s head.

Al Gore is famous for ducking debates, in fact its hard to get any alarmist anywhere to debate a skeptic.  Now we know why.

Australia dodged a bullet when the ETS bill failed and the leader of the opposition was ousted in favor of a skeptic.  The Sydney Morning Herald editors heads popped.  Heh.

Documents from the CIA in the 1970′s blow the lid off the warmist’s claims that there was no cooling consensus, and proves a cautionary tale for following any trend based on irrational fear.

Part Four: AGW in the News

Idle lawmakers make everyday life more difficult for idling drivers in the UK.

Global warming, the new religion.

The BBC (and UK taxpayers by association) funds revolutionaries.

Global warming used to be the topic du jour and any talking head lefty would feel free to tell you how your lifestyle was the eco-equivalent to mugging a polar bear.  Now, not so much, the topic has become embarrassing for lefties.

Alberta cancels green transportation.  Might as well use all that tarsands oil America doesn’t want, right?

Two ‘scientists’ claim that the world could be fueled entirely by renewables by 2030. But they’re from California, so, like, whatever, dudes.

Why do conservative parties support globak warming hoax policies?  Good question.

The answer: skeptics are old and dying, so they don’t count.

For Obamatrons, there is no such thing as climategate.

The Daily Express in the UK became the first paper in the world to make climategate front page news.

CBS in the US suggests that skeptics have found their voice. Just in time, I was looking for that.

Dan Hannan, right-o-sphere hero, on skepticism. More on the value of not being gullible.

It’s a good job that smart meters will save UK households £28 a year, because wind farms will cost them £500 a year.

Hey, maybe we should not wreck the global economy until we know if the science is any good, and more.

Heather Malice Mallick, one of Canada’s most toxic lefties, is ashamed to be Canadian.  I can assure her that Canada is far more ashamed to be associated with a person that declares George Monbiot one of her ‘heroes’.

Part Five: Global Hottie

Hollywood celebrities are flocking to Copenhagen, which gives me license to pick from any of the best of Hollywood.  So, here’s Charlize Theron, in gold.  Because, well, why not?

Thanks for reading, have a great weekend.