Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, March 4th 2010

The green movement is fracturing under the continued pressure of the truth about global warming, Al Gore wrote for the NYT and is widely ridiculed and British Columbia proves that green taxes can’t stop global warming.  Also, in a Daily Bayonet exclusive, buy your Axis of Upheaval offsets, this week only.

And there’s an all-Canadian hottie, because Canada rocked the Olympics my friends.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Al Gore, Apple shareholder and advocate of child labor for increased profits, was called a laughingstock at the hippie-tech’s recent AGM.  Bonus, he was there in person to hear it.

At least Al can show up when their is dollar to be made, because he runs pretty fast if he’s being asked to answer a few questions on the record.

The biggest news from the global warming movement’s spiritual leader was his op-ed in the New York Times in which the profiteer prophet told his people:

I, for one, genuinely wish that the climate crisis were an illusion. But unfortunately, the reality of the danger we are courting has not been changed by the discovery of at least two mistakes in the thousands of pages of careful scientific work over the last 22 years by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. In fact, the crisis is still growing because we are continuing to dump 90 million tons of global-warming pollution every 24 hours into the atmosphere — as if it were an open sewer.

And by ‘global warming pollution’ Al means CO2, or plant food.  Feel the crazy!

There was a long line of people waiting to tear up Al’s portfolio-protection racket, notably Ace,  Alan Caruba, Ann Althouse, IBD and the always read-worthy Donna LaFramboise, who really puts the boot in:

While Gore finds it convenient these days to portray tobacco as the moral equivalent of the Great Satan, to anyone aware of his family history this rings grotesquely hollow. Six years after his own sister died of lung cancer, he himself was still accepting political campaign donations from “tobacco industry political action committees.” It took several years following her death for his family to walk away from the income they earned from this crop.

The reason this is important is because the tobacco analogy isn’t being deployed randomly or accidentally. It’s become a consistent part of Gore’s rhetorical arsenal. Last December, he tried the same trick. When asked about the lack of political action in the US on carbon-dioxide related matters, he compared “carbon polluters” to big tobacco and appeared to blame their lobbying and advertising activities for the lack of legislative progress.

Ouch.

Al’s mockumentary An Inconvenient Truth may no longer be shown in British schools, if the UKIP takes power (which is, unfortunately unlikely).

At least Al is a smart gambler.  By ducking this bet, he’s saved some of those precious greenbacks he’s so fond of.

There may be a medical diagnosis for what ails Al, ‘Narcissistic Personality Disorder‘.  Yes, global warming causes failed presidential candidates to crave the spotlight.  Or something.  I don’t know if Al’s sick or not, but he sure makes me nauseous.

Oh, did you know that global warming causes coral reefs to ‘disintigrate’.  Me either, but Big Al says it is so, and he’s almost Doctor Gore.  Oh, wait, here’s an inconvenient truth.

Al has teamed up with Richard Branson, the UK’s biggest global warming hypocrite, to make lots more money for each other sell a mini traffic light for truck cabs, or something.

Et tu, Guardian?  Al Gore, ghost of climate change past:

Yet even though I admire Gore, on some level I couldn’t help but cringe. His 2006 film on global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, helped bring the issue to prominence for millions of people. I’m afraid, though, that he has not only spent his political capital, but is running a deficit. Mocked by the right every time he pops up, he is no longer in a position to convince anyone who isn’t already convinced – especially when he writes for our most liberal daily newspaper.

From a Guardianista, that’s like getting smacked upside the head with Tiny Tim’s crutch.  God bless ‘em, every word.

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

Alarmists have seen the scale of the backlash against their preachy doomsaying and immediately called the whaaaaambulance.  One particularly nasty lefty received a poke in the eye from Simon. Heh.

George Monbiot, ignoring the UK’s impending energy-free future, wants to leave whatever fossil fuels are left in the ground.  Here’s a challenge for moonbat.  Unplug and try it first.  Revkin didn’t find a carbon-free few days all that fun:

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No wonder the UN is made of Fail, they think an inch is two years.

Having failed to convince only society’s most gullible that there is anything wrong with CO2 in the air, the more astute alarmists are already preparing the next phase of ‘perfectly natural things to be terrified of’, oceans.

John Kerry, the man who puts the pork in ketchup (think about it), says a climate bill is coming.  You’d think that a man who became the face of winter soldier might like a bit of warmth to melt his shameful past.  But you’d be wrong.

The Wall Street Journal discovers why the IPCC made so many mistakes in their seminal report.  It’s because they were so busy dumbing it down for the huddled masses that they missed some stuff.  See, it’s because we’re stupid, not them.

Toronto Star’s Peter Gorrie wails that people are abandoning the global warming hoax, claiming that skeptics are gloating.  Not me, I’m laughing too hard to gloat.

It was only a matter of time before the Green movement began it eat it’s young.  As the global hoax falls apart, the various agenda driven groups that attached themselves to the Green banner are fracturing, which will make it easier for the rest of us to sort the commies from the hippies from the anarchists from the treehuggers.  Life is good.

A peek inside the hippie mind:

1. Find a ‘denier’, any denier
2. Link him to funds from an oil firm
3. Draw the conclusion he must be a paid shill
4. Publicize and hope the revelation ‘can equalize the damage done by Climategate‘

Oh noes, whaling causes global warming.  Apparently, when the harpoon goes in, global warming comes out.  Or something.

Climate bullies are on both sides of the street, apparently.  Although only one side wants to execute the other, or compare opponents to ‘pigs‘.

‘Scientists’ made of the wrong stuff at NASA put together a very pretty video telling us how we’re all going to die because of global warming.  And yes, they say that the planet ‘is running a fever’.  The men who went to the moon must be shaking their heads wondering where it all went wrong.

The mask slippeth, meet ‘ecosocialism‘.

Greens are going ‘All-in’, but we can see right through their po-po-po-PO-PO-po-poker faces.  Groovy.

A young and entirely deluded student slept outside for months to protest climate change.  But he still used evil fossil fuels for the essentials, like charging his iPod.

Climategate has taken a toll on the hippies, and one is crying uncle and needs help.  My old nemesis Greenfyre has only managed three posts this year.  I guess the global crisis can wait until he gets his patchouli in order.

Oh noes, climate idiot Louise Gray wonders if these bears will soon be all dead and drownded:

Tom reminds Lousi that Ursus Maritimus is actually a pretty good swimmer.

Phil ‘The Decline’ Jones might have appeared before a Parliamentary Committee, but did he perjure himself?

Emo-Joe Romm is ducking a debate with Roger Pielke Jr.  Joe is a lefty coward, happy to sling the insults from the safety of his blog, but he knows that when he does emerge to debate, he gets owned.

Joe is also named here alongside alarmist dignitaries Pachauri, Jones and Mann.

If you ever want to know why something you just read says that climate change is to blame, just follow the money.  Richard North is excellent at digging up inconvenient truths like this, which is why the link is your must-read of the week:

…of course, all these dedicated, independent scientists are firmly convinced that climate change is a real and present danger. How could £63,245,372 be wrong? And then there are the 912 grants from the Natural Environment Research Council on climate change. At a mere £166,500,521, that also tends to concentrate a few minds – but that is another story.

If any hippies are reading this, and wondering why regular folk are sick of your crap, watch this video (at the link).  Comparing ordinary people’s daily activities to serial killers and psychopaths in an effort sell your delusion just turns us off.

Vancouver 2010 is over, just in time for BC’s Premier to blame normal weather for the time of year on global warming.  British Columbia has a green tax, the only one in North America.  I guess it didn’t work?

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

As alarmists, warmists and hippies try to convince us that the ‘settled science’ is sound, Delingpole reminds us that the green movement was never about the science at all.

Carbon storage is not a feasible option after all.  You know what, let’s pump carbon into the ground after the trees stop being hungry, okay?

Tom Nelson peeks behind the curtain and finds a whole lot of spinning going on.

Senator Inhofe, blowing hippie minds, with a smile.

Heh.  How to debate a climate fraud denier:

The truth is in the science. Science is about facts, not a show of hands. The complexity of climate involves a multiplicity of scientific disciplines. Yet climate scientists have had to rely on a small core of a mere two dozen or so ‘elite’ climate scientists who are responsible for the ‘homogenized’ temp data sets produced from a central WMO source. That is where the fraud lies.

Hey, you know what might be a good idea, saving trillions by not worrying about the weather.  Genius!

Not only are pesky polar bears not following the hippie script by being hard to kill with weather, now ungrateful grizzlies are making a comeback too.  Of course, this may lead to a bear fight.  Awesome.

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Finally the UK has a reason to be thankful for being nearly broke, there’s no cash for giant bird-shredder farms.

The EPA beclowned itself with the ruling that CO2 is a pollutant, and now there is no shortage of real scientists willing to point out that politics is no way to do science.

Tell us about that scientific consensus once more.  I dare you:

Science is about doubt – not certainty. Journalism is supposed to reveal – not conceal. When scientific organizations claim there’s a consensus, they step over the line into political advocacy. When media outlets trumpet said consensus they “disappear” highly-qualified, dissenting scientists.

Al Gore might say that the last ten years were the hottest in modern records, but this is climate we’re talking about, so how about we look at, say, 65 million years worth of temperature?

The greenhouse gas theory promoted by NASA is flawed.  But the truth won’t win funding, so the rocket scientists will just use junk science instead.

Greenwashing councilmen in Calgary are outed for their support of a very un-green new bridge.

The Institute of Physics has harsh criticism of the UAE motley CRU:

The CRU e-mails as published on the Internet provide prima facie evidence of determined and co-ordinated refusals to comply with honourable scientific traditions and freedom of information law. The principle that scientists should be willing to expose their ideas and results to independent testing and replication by others, which requires the open exchange of data, procedures and materials, is vital. The lack of compliance has been confirmed by the findings of the Information Commissioner. This extends well beyond the CRU itself – most of the e-mails were exchanged with researchers in a number of other international institutions who are also involved in the formulation of the IPCC’s conclusions on climate change.

The Royal Society of Chemistry piles on, too.

Say it ain’t so, insurance companies profiteering from ‘global warming’ premiums.  You mean there’s money in greenwashing?

Next month sees Earth Hour, but is the bloom off the rose as doom-fatigue sets in?

33 ways the globe has tried to kill us off, if the scaremongers were to be believed.  For anyone that believed any of those stories, there’s a Nigerian that needs your help getting millions of dollars out of the country, it is possible to grow your penis by taking a pill, and no, your ass doesn’t look fat in those pants.

Don’t mess with Texas.  An embarrassing scientist at the USGS underestimates the size of Texas by a factor of 32, because when you’re trying to scare people about disappearing ice, New Jersey just doesn’t cut it.

Solar panels, such a bad option even dyed in the wool lefties can’ support them.

More NASA, none of it good.  How reliable is the rocket-scientists data?

While Al Gore and assorted lefties and greens panic about milder weather, Gaia shows us all who’s boss as the Chilean quake shifts Earth 3″ off its axis.  Permanently.  Fortunately, there is no need to panic as you can buy axis-offsets from The Daily Bayonet.  Simply click the donate button and for every $1 received I will cut out and keep a 3″ long piece of paper, representing your commitment to the axis of upheaval.  Or, if you prefer to do some actual good with your cash, give to the Chileans.

Part Four: AGW in the News

Drill baby, drill.  In North Dakota.  It’s Bakken to the future.

Texans can get solarized in Dallas, with the help of a, um, solar utility.

A vast iceberg breaks off from the Antarctic, and the BBC doesn’t blame global warming.  Wait, what?

The push for environmentally friendly energy is pushing energy costs up in the UK.  Embrace the renewables and hand over the green, Brits.

Oh noes, global warming threatens dams and nukes.  No, really.  Add them to the list.

Bad news for America’s latest hippie haven the ‘Coffee Party‘.  Global warming hits coffee production.

Welcome to the age of post-normal science, where facts are subservient to agendas.

Carbon taxes, only making sense to fanatics like global warming muppet Jim Hansen.

People of the world, behold how your media betters wish to control your thoughts on global warming, by wishing for a disaster:

FT readers are versed in risk and probability which are difficult to communicate in the rest of the media.  Climate scientists aren’t generally newsworthy; sceptics, IPCC problems and emails are making the news.  “Climate – guess what? Still changing” is an unlikely headline.  A short-term disaster is needed to guarantee coverage as people aren’t good at processing information about there being no ice at the poles in 30 years.

No word on exactly how many dead they need to guarantee coverage.

Australia embraces giant bird shredders, Emu’s laugh.

Green idea of the week, let’s pay island nations to do nothing with the oceans.

Al Gore said that global warming means more hurricanes.  It doesn’t, but will anyone care?

Simon has all the video of Phil Jones’ testimony from his Parliamentary committee appearance.  Worth watching.

North Lincolnshire drivers will be fined for idling their cars, and are upset.  Folks, try it in Canada when it’s -20C.

Those green jobs, not permanent and not sustainable.

Oh noes, we’re Finnished.  Scandi scientists discover that soil contributes to global warming.  It’s not just dirt under your fingernails, it’s earth, killing Earth.

The Guardian agrees to drop the ‘denier’ label from news articles, although reserves the right for slathering lefties to use it in opinion pieces.  Which is fair enough, at least we’ll know who the raving lunatics are.

The NYT looks at how scientists are trying to regain credibility post-Climategate, and gives it a fair hearing:

Some critics think these are merely cosmetic efforts that do not address the real problem, however.

“I’ll let you in on a very dark, ugly secret — I don’t want trust in climate science to be restored,” Willis Eschenbach, an engineer and climate contrarian who posts frequently on climate skeptic blogs, wrote in response to one climate scientist’s proposal to share more research. “I don’t want you learning better ways to propagandize for shoddy science. I don’t want you to figure out how to inspire trust by camouflaging your unethical practices in new and innovative ways.”

“The solution,” he concluded, “is for you to stop trying to pass off garbage as science.”

Hippies lose another one.  A crazy ruling that opened the door to energy firms being sued for global warming has been overturned.  Phew.

Global warming hubris par excellence: “We are in the middle of Earth’s sixth extinction.” I’m guessing that extinctions one through five were slackers, since we’re still here.

Part Five: Global Hottie

I promised you a Canadian hottie to celebrate the 14 gold medals Canadians won at the Vancouver 2010 Olympiad, and I wasn’t kidding. Skeptics, meet Natasha Henstridge, star of sci-fi flick Species and some other stuff you’re interested in reading about.  A note for commenter Mina who was disappointed that the hottie is safe for work; dude it’s the Internet, I’m pretty sure you can find something on it to suit your tastes.

Thanks for reading.