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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, May 13th 2010

Al Gore invokes the memory of Elvis to sell the global warming hoax, which is awkward because Elvis might be the only thing deader than Al’s favorite scam.  A hippie blames an airline’s cheap flights for his traveling habit, the UK gets a Green MP and Ed Begley Jr. hates the planet.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Never one to miss an opportunity to turn a disaster into profit,  ecoprophet Al Gore wrote an alarmist piece for The New Republic:

Just as the oil companies told us that deep-water drilling was safe, they tell us that it’s perfectly all right to dump 90 million tons of CO2 into the air of the world every 24 hours. Even as the oil spill continues to grow—even as BP warns that the flow could increase multi-fold, to 60,000 barrels per day, and that it may continue for months—the head of the American Petroleum Institute, Jack Gerard, says, “Nothing has changed. When we get back to the politics of energy, oil and natural gas are essential to the economy and our way of life.” His reaction reminds me of the day Elvis Presley died. Upon hearing the tragic news, Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, said, “This changes nothing.”

It’s time to run any article by the Goreacle into a drinking game, every time he mentions melting glaciers, rising sea levels, worse storms, hurricanes, forest fires or any of his favorite things, take a hit of your beverage of choice. See you on the floor.

Gore also blogged a curious post titled, ‘No Fooling Mother Nature’, which the cynics might suggest means he knows he can fool the people.

Frothy-mouthed hippies at Media Matters got riled up at right-rival Newsbusters for ‘smearing’ Al Gore by wondering how he made the money the money to pay for his new $9 million California home.  That would be an awkward question, something Media Matters thoroughly disapproves of, apparently.

Gore became the illustrated man, featured in a new comic version.  Wait, what?  Was there anything wrong with the old comic version?

there's a storm brewing right ear...

The Senate is get a look at a ‘climate’ Bill, and right on cue… the Gore Effect hits America.

More Goreblogging, he noted Arctic rain and the smallest snow cover over the US in April:

“According to the Rutgers Snow Lab, North American snow cover for April 2010 was the smallest on record (since 1966). Moreover, the anomaly was the largest of any of the 520 months on record.”

The smallest on record since 1966?  But 520 months is 43 and a bit years, or approximately 1966.  Coincidence?

Al took time to congratulate his own TV station for winning an award.  He’s still not said anything about the networks more embarrassing award though.

American Thinker had a few thoughts about Gore:

Al Gore refuses to debate his critics. He has repeatedly dodged a debate with Christopher Monckton. Instead of engaging skeptics in reasoned discussions, Gore has relentlessly demonized those who disagree with him. In a series of infamous character assassinations, he has stated that people who are skeptical of the hysterical global warming scenario he has been promoting (and profiting from) are comparable to the lunatic fringe who believe that the Apollo Moon landings were filmed on a movie stage. He has also compared global warming skeptics to people who believe that the Earth is flat.

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

Excitable ecotard Ed Begley Jr. suggests that the green thing to do these days is tear up your lawn.  Why does Ed hate the planet so much, look what lawns can do:

  • Oxygen production. 58 square metres of lawn provide enough oxygen for one person for an entire day.
  • Temperature modification. On a block of eight average houses, front lawns have the cooling effect of 70 tonnes of air conditioning.
  • Allergy control. Turf controls dust, in addition to pollen from plants that can cause serious health problems for some individuals.
  • Pollutant absorption. Turfgrasses absorb gaseous pollutants such as carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide, converting them to oxygen.
  • Particulate entrapment. Turfgrasses trap an estimated 12 million tons of dust and dirt released annually into the atmosphere.
  • Fire retardation. Grass around buildings helps retard the spread of fire.
  • Water quality. Reducing runoff, turfgrass filters the water that helps to recharge groundwater supplies.

The fallout from the ill-conceived letter from 255 NAS sciencytists continued as the picture that accompanied the letter was found to be a photoshopped hippie wetdreamUrsus Bogus, heh. Defensive ecotards were not amused by the debacle, which is getting worse now that many signatories are discovered not to be climate scientists.  Oops.

In Australia, the cowardly lion tetchy Prime Minister may have ditched his ETS scheme and thrown the climate to the wolves, but his environment minister still thinks it’s wrong to teach kids that there are two sides to every story.  Aussie alarmists are becoming desperate.

A famous UK gasbag discovers that wind power is, well, not very good at producing power.

Paul McCartney, a rich man so smart he married a one-legged harpy-from-hell is out and about trying to get people to not eat animals to stop global warming. Macca hasn’t been keeping up on current events or he would know that the methane cow-bomb has been debunked.  Also, Sir Paul, if we weren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?  Heh, gotcha.

you can haz cheezburger

The ex-editor of Scientific American goes off on a rant about why he wants to call skeptics ‘deniers’ and not something less inflammatory:

As so many climate scientists and others have already said, the time for action on global warming is already upon us. Let’s be clear, then, that the division in the arguments is between those committed either to climate action activism or to climate action denial (or resistance or opposition). Forget trying to find some neutral, anodyne term in the interest of reconciliation. The weight of evidence runs against most of the deniers’ positions, so don’t hesitate to use a term that puts them on the defensive.

He gets taken to the woodshed in the comments, which is always fun.  Enjoy.

Is the UN the fount of hysteria? Why yes, it is.

Just as global warming falls apart, the new scare is ocean acidification.  Even Al Gore mentioned it in his New Republic article.  That’s called a hedge.

The LA Times published a hysterical editorial (not in the good way) about the pending doom from slightly more pleasant weather:

as Floridians fret about tar balls from the gulf spill showing up on their pristine white-sand beaches, those same beaches are going to vanish within half a century (along with much of Miami) under the worst-case scenarios presented by climate modelers.

There’s also a warning about pyromaniac beetles.  Or something.

A Greenpeace eco-terrorist was fined A$8,000 for blockading a port illegally.  Now donating hippies have something to be proud about.

Oh noes, killer Perrier threatens America.  But wait, the EPA is there to save us

you'll never see it coming

Digging for victory, redux.  This time, global warming is the enemy.

It’s hard to make an impact on global warming if you’re a billionaire, just ask geo-engineer Bill Gates.  But one Indian has the solution, a new restaurant.  We’re saved.

Oh noes, more species are going to die because your SUV exhausts plant food.

This is priceless.  An ecotard hippie blames an airline for offering cheap flights for wrecking the planet because he cannot resist jumping on their planes to have lunch in a far-off city.  Or something:

JetBlue professes to care about the environment. So why are they making it so easy (and tempting) to fly halfway across the country for dinner and a few drinks?

Hey, hippie, it’s called self-discipline.  Google it.

Finally an answer to the age-old question, how do allergists secure funding?  Find a link to global warming, of course.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Two-thirds of Australians are unconvinced that global warming is man-made, and a lot don’t want to pay anything to fix it in any case.  If you were unsure what prompted Kevin Rudd to drop ETS, now you know.

Solar panels, the much-vaunted alternative energy (with wind) has a problem.  It takes 100 years to pay for itself. This is something the folks at Nellis AFB know already.

The Kerry-Lieberman bill is not a global warming bill.  You can see for yourself here.

The boondoggle that is carbon capture has a problem, all the cemeteries are full.  Uh oh, isn’t that something that might trigger the zombie apocalypse?  Quick, get one of these:

A Canadian city labels rabid environmentalists as potential hate crime risks.

Oh noes, seaweed kills coral.  What will kill all the coral first, seaweed or global warming?

The motley CRU has been criticized for using poor statistical techniques and keeping ‘messy data’.  At least we’re not being asked to gamble the global economy on the work of shoddy math and bad filing.  Oh, wait.  If it happens, you can print carbon bucks here.

A statistician has had enough of climate skeptic deniers:

There are a lot of people out there—unqualified, un-degreed, un-peer-reviewed people—who actively reject the consensus among climate skeptics. These people are rank deniers.

Outstanding snark, you should read it all.

An inconvenient Venus.

Deserts may absorb 50% of carbon dioxide emissions, which is good news.  The only better news would be if desserts absorbed global warming too.

the lonely desert

Tim Ball asks how much does climate change naturally?  Which is a good question.

Is the sea around Taiwan rising, or is the land sinking.  Related, how come hippies understand subsidies but not subsidence?

That pesky medieval warming period, again.

A Harvard astrophysicist challenges climate scientists to clean up their act:

Science needs to stand up. The AGW movement is killing science. It’s very unhealthy in many ways. They are corrupting science for material gain. It’s time for us to take back climate science.

Donna ‘Pitbull’ Laframboise tears the IPCC another one, finding more rule breaking in the AR4 report.

Temperature data from Africa might be as badly compromised as in the US.

Lord Monckton finally got his day in front of Congress, and delivered a few pithy realities to the bloated body:

“…the “global warming” that we might forestall if we shut down the entire global carbon economy for a full year would be 8.5 ln[(388+2)/388] = 0.044 F°. At that rate, almost a quarter of a century of global zero-carbon activity would be needed in order to forestall just one Fahrenheit degree of “global warming.”

Antarctica, still not melting, and the temperature is not rising.  Disappointed penguins are folding their beach towels and thinking of suing Greenpeace for false advertising.

Green on green action of the week: Grist vs. Obama.  I’d call him the first green president, but that’s too obvious.

Oh noes, another species is suffering from dramatic population decline: climate scientists.  Wait, what?

Scientist on scientist action of the week: Ozone hole man vs. climate scientists:

“Show me paper from the Hadley Centre and invite me to peer review it – I simply can’t… it took 2,000 man years to write it!” The fact that other models reproduced the findings was not in itself conclusive, he says, adding “It’s getting peer review into bad odour.”

Steve Milloy wades in on the Mann investigation.  Words are not minced.

It’s the Sun, stupid.

Part Four: AGW in the News

The Gulf oil spill is still pumping, but that’s no reason not to start the recriminations.

The UK gets its first Green Member of Parliament.  Caroline Lucas will represent Brighton, a town which is apparently not all that, err, bright.

The meeting on climate in Bonn turned out not so bon for the UN.

As Michael ‘Stick’ Mann faces a legal probe into just how bad his science was, the hippies circle the wagons.  After many years of calling for skeptics to face consequences, ecotards discover that it’s nowhere near as much fun when the accusations are turned around.  The move by Virginia’s AG is called a political witchhunt, the data is said to be IP and the university may defy the subpoena for Mann’s data.

A register of climate realists has been drawn together, so now the media has no excuse for not being able to find a dissenting voice for their, ahem, balanced articles.

New York is mapping potential zones for solar panels.

The Hartwell Paper proposes a new way to deal with global warming, not all of it scaremonger nonsense.  Environmental ‘journalist’ Louise Gray managed to conflate the Hartwell paper with a completely different study.

NIMBYism in Connecticut, where no-one wants giant bird-shredders near their homes.

Guess what, if you believe in global warming, you’re probably mad as a hatter.

Aussie PM Rudd, fresh from dropping ETS propped up his green credentials by reneging on a green rewards card.  Wait, what?

More range anxiety from electric car drivers:

A six-month trial involving 264 drivers found that almost all experienced “range anxiety” and travelled only short distances.  They were over cautious when planning journeys and allowed themselves a generous safety margin to avoid the need to recharge en route.

UN chief Don Ban Ki-Moon visited Canada, was rude about global warming and left again.  Thanks, Ban.

The Obama administration wants to launch a ‘cash for caulkers’ program:

The legislation would create the supposedly temporary “HomeStar program,” in which the government would cut checks to homeowners who pay for weatherization improvements such as new windows, insulation or ductwork repairs.

Because government cash for insulation worked out so well in Australia.

Subsidized green jobs, which is almost all of them, destroy real jobs.

The UK coalition government is green.  Pity the islanders, they’re done.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

House alum and James T. Kirk’s mom, Jennifer Morrison makes a return appearance as your global hottie.  Mostly because I watched JJ Abrams’ Star Trek reboot again and have decided that it does, in fact, rock.

click

Thanks for reading.