Electric cars are bad for the planet, Swedes piddle in their gardens for Gaia and a plastic peril in the Pacific is just another perfidious porky.
All this and a double dose of hottie to kick off the 2011 round-up season awaits…
Part One: Al Gore & Friends
Al Gore has no friends. And nothing to say. Nothing at all. If he hides for much longer, Part One will need a new label and target.
Part Two: Hippies, Warmists & Scaremongers
You know what a world run on fossil fuels is like? Slavery, that’s what. No, really – your appliances crave freedom, or something:
First, slaves and fossil-fuelled machines play(ed) similar economic and social roles: ‘energy slaves’ (machines powered by fossil fuels) now do the work in our homes, fields and factories, which used to be carried out by slaves and servants in the past. Both slave societies and developed countries externalise(d) labour (labour came from slaves in the former case and ‘work’ is provided by machines in the latter), and both slaves and modern machines free(d) their owners from daily chores.
Windows users rejoice – the .wwf document format that just won’t print is now available for use on PC.
This winter has been a real downer for warmists – how can they ever convince people that Gaia is burning when their toes turn blue every time they step outside? The good news of course is that nothing disproves global warming. Not ever:
Karl Popper, the late, great philosopher of science, noted that for something to be called scientific, it must be, as he put it, “falsifiable.” That is, for something to be scientifically true, you must be able to test it to see if it’s false. That’s what scientific experimentation and observation do. That’s the essence of the scientific method. Unfortunately, the prophets of climate doom violate this idea. No matter what happens, it always confirms their basic premise that the world is getting hotter. The weather turns cold and wet? It’s global warming, they say. Weather turns hot? Global warming. No change? Global warming. More hurricanes? Global warming. No hurricanes? You guessed it.
Time magazine suggested that the reason the winter is so cold is because the Arctic reflects sunlight. Except the Arctic doesn’t get much sunlight during winter. Oops.
A person with poor hygiene celebrates the moppet-exploding 10:10 organization for persuading him not to buy any clothes in 2010. Just what is it between hippies and soap?
Oh noes, global warming has changed the flavor of tea. However it tastes, it cannot be worse than Earl Grey.
Andrew Simms thinks global warming is exactly like the financial meltdown, but then he also thinks we have only 71 months to save the planet. He’s wrong – we only have 11 and a bit, or 4.5 billion of us do.
Delingpole says a man called Crispin Tickell invented global warming. And no, he didn’t make that moniker up. It’s fairly understandable that being named Crispin Tickell might make a lad a mad enough to want to wreck the world. Just ask his brother Roland (I did make that part up).
An ex-conservative (small-C not a typo) hippie blogger mocks Fox News for highlighting failed global warming predictions from the past. Apparently when a scientist suggests something will happen in 10, 15 or 20 years and it doesn’t – it’s wrong to ask what went wrong. Read the link but don’t bother leaving a comment – you’ll be banned before you finish it.
A new documentary features warmists and hippies ‘fearlessly’ acting like spoiled brats. Among the ‘feats’ celebrated on film – climbing the UK parliament buildings and hanging about outside power stations. Actual fearless feats like anti-oil protests in Riyadh are next week, or something.
When things go wrong for the left, and they always go wrong, you know who’s to blame? Them, that’s who – the amorphous mass of unbeatable forces that thwart hippies with the same 11th hour regularity that meddling kids foiled a Scooby-Doo villain:
What strikes me is not that leftism does not work, but that when it is indulged and doesn’t work, its beneficiaries scream at the unfairness of it all—in the fashion that a theorist who claimed 2 plus 2 equals 5 blames the construct of mathematics because his equation is not true.
Warmists have found themselves friends at last - the CIA, the Joint Chiefs and CEO’s. Wait, what?
The EPA quietly changed how it recommended dealing with a CFL mercury spill because when Americans are given no choice about how to light their homes, it’s best not to tell them how bad the green option really is.
The buyer of the first Nissan Leaf did it for the planet his image
A NOAA boffin knows what is wrong with the planet – too many people and too much economic growth. Dr. Miller is in the fortunate position to do something about both on a personal level – but will he be the change he advocates? After you, doc.
George Monbiot is angry that people live in houses with more rooms than they ‘need’. Except him, because lefty journalists living alone in 4-bedroom farmhouses are more equal than you.
The journal International Socialism has a column that contains every warmist talking point in one easy to remember place. Oh, and capitalism is bad, very bad.
Remember the ‘Great Pacific Garbage Patch’ so beloved of fund-raisers like David Suzuki? Turns out that it’s just more junk science than actual junk – the amount of plastic covers less than 1% of the ocean area claimed.
Sweden has invented a watering can that you pee in, then use to water your garden with. Why wasteful Swedes can’t just step outside to pee on their plants without using a plastic can is unclear.
Simon is back, and he has brought the satirebat with him – global warming causes Vegemite sales slump, or something.
Part Three: Inconvenient Truths
We are told to fear global warming even if temperatures increase only tenths of a degree over a decade. So what are we supposed to think when the globe cools 0.56°C in just four days?
So where do the 1934/1998/2010 warm years rank in the long-term list of warm years? Of the past 10,500 years, 9,100 were warmer than 1934/1998/2010. Thus, regardless of which year (1934, 1998, or 2010) turns out to be the warmest of the past century, that year will rank number 9,099 in the long-term list
Global warming, crooks and carbon trading – a match made in heaven.
Climate models are the basis for much of the gloom and doom predictions of warming. The problem is that the models are terrible even at hindcasting, which somewhat detracts from their predictive credibility.
Consensus is no way to prove science, but since it means so much to the alarmist side, how about 1000 scientists that don’t buy the global warming theory? Of course, it now turns out that even the warmist’s consensus was a gerrymandered number.
Nissan Leaf and Chevy Volt owners are killing the planet. Wait, what? You mean energy has to come from somewhere, even if hippies can’t see it?
Alan Caruba has good advice for humanity – get over ourselves:
Humans, you need to stop worrying about “controlling” carbon dioxide and stop passing laws to reduce its emissions. CO2 is 3.618% and man-made CO2 is even more miniscule, only 0.117%. Without CO2 we and everything else dies. As the late Dixie Lee Ray, former chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission, noted, “Such increases (of CO2) have occurred in the past without any help from us at all, and this time is probably no different. Most likely, the causes were and still are colossal cosmic forces quite outside human ability to control.”
A clean power backlash in Oz as energy firms have had enough of damaging regulation and grandstanding.
Mo’ nukes, mo’ nukes, mo’ nukes. The inevitable outcome of green activism is more nuclear power – it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Jennifer Marohasy has the Aussie version of this hippie head-popper.
British consumers were forced to use ‘eco-friendly’ water heaters by the last Labour government. Unfortunately, the boilers work poorly or not at all in cold weather:
…the problem causing these breakdowns is so simple. In cold weather, the pipe that takes waste water from the back of the condensing boiler-which isn’t there in a normal boiler-freezes solid, shutting down the system and in many cases causing permanent damage. But this problem is just one of many that have plagued this boiler design since they became popular in the Nineties. Many plumbers consider them to be little more than a multi-billion-pound con-trick.
On the topic of multi-billion pound con tricks – the UK is waking up to the news that wind turbines don’t work well. Giant bird shredders have been sold on the easily misunderstood but optimistic ‘capacity’ number rather than the actual generating performance. How does 22% efficiency sound. Anyone? Wind farms also do not create jobs.
Uh oh, CO2 lags temperature.
California screamin’. Once fertile land in a once rich and prosperous state now resembles an African failed state.
Donna Laframboise details how the WWF infiltrated the UK Met. Office. We live in serious times but without serious leaders. What could possibly go wrong?
Greenwashing is annoying but not often a public safety issue, except in Queensland where the police cannot fit all their gear into tiny hybrid cars.
The questions for warmists are getting louder and more poignant:
It is time to demand, unequivocally, that the warmies tell us exactly what would falsify the theory of AGW. And it is time to demand that the EPA Administrator answer that question under oath before Congress.
Amen to that.
The lesson that alarmists refuse to learn – dire warnings just turn people off.
Jo Nova ponders whether there is something wrong with the scientific method.
Arctic melting is a good thing. The alternative would be a real problem.
Part Four: AGW in the News
Global warming, what warming? News coverage of the greatest threat to mankind since legwarmers has dropped off the map.
Canada benefits as China attempts to squeeze the rare-earth minerals supply. No doubt greens will soon be slamming the rare earth mines as hard as the oil sands, until they figure out that rare earths are needed to make every wind turbine and electric car.
Britain’s Met Office knew it was going to be cold and snowy – they just didn’t want to say anything in case they were wrong. It’s amazing what value the UK taxpayer gets for £170 million a year and a super-computer.
Warmists are having a hard time convincing people that it’s getting warmer when the weather outside is cold, but ‘coolists’ are having a great time with predictions:
While climate change campaigners say global warming is the planet’s biggest danger, renowned physicist Vladimir Paar says most of central Europe will soon be covered in ice. The freeze will be so complete that people will be able to walk from England to Ireland or across the North Sea from Scotland to northern Europe.
It’s a knockout in the latest thriller in Manila where the President has axed his Office of the Presidential Adviser on Global Warning and Climate Change. We’re saved, apparently.
Farmers are the next target for greens – one sure way to ensure a lower population is a lot less food. That said, anything that ends the crooked racket of EU farm subsidies is likely to be a new benefit. US farmers aren’t all that impressed with new ‘green’ tractors and prefer to keep the old ones running.
America can ready for living in the dark – no new coal power stations were built in 2010, despite the nation generating half of its power with its abundant coal reserves.
Sex sells, as any ad guru or pornographer will tell you. So why not market global warming with nudity? The good news is that naked hippies is about the last gasp of the global warmer’s desperate attempts to save the hoax.
Minnesota opens the door to new nukes, just a crack.
The Australian turns on alarmists, coming to the (too late) realization that cranks have wrecked the game for everyone:
If serious scientists want to create a consensus that human action is causing global warming they should ask the eccentrics and extremists to shut up. Claims that freezing winters show the planet is getting hotter, admissions that expected sea-level rises, creating 100 million refugees, are wrong and warnings that glaciers will melt, which turn out to based on hyperbole not scientific hypothesis, all understandably encourage sceptics who think global warming is a con.
The Obama administration has a new environment and energy policy advisor – Nathaniel Keohane. Keohane was the chief economist at the Environmental Defence Fund, so it’s like asking the fox to mind the henhouse. Or business as usual under Obama, if you prefer.
Betting against warmists and scaremongers for fun and profit.
Just as some clever birds may have figured out that flying higher means not getting shredded by hippie-power, dastardly greens invent flying wind turbines. Curses!
Part Five: Global Hottie
This might be a new year but some traditions are too good not to continue. After watching the Christmas classic Planet Terror over the holidays, either Rose McGowan or Marley Shelton had to make the cut. But since we took a week off, why not both? Genius!
Thanks for reading.