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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Jan 27th 2011

The Round-Up has a whole new look to Part One, GE’s boss will help Americans get back to work although the commute to China may deter some, and Apple has exciting innovations in iPolluting and iPoisoning.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

The soon-to-be-prestigious HOTW spot goes to the public figure or celebrity who demonstrates the most willingness to beclown themselves on the topic of global warming or its related effects.  Inaugural HOTW winner is UK radio host Chris Evans for these wise words:

The Earth has warmed and cooled, but the thing is, what they said is that it’s cooling at such an exponential rate now that that’s never happened before, and you know, some people don’t believe that maybe we’re contributing to this. But listen, science apart, right, if you light a fire, your living room warms up, doesn’t it? It’s not rocket science!

Evans is so concerned about the planet that he only owns six white Ferrari’s.  And a couple of black ones.

not a rocket scientist, apparently

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Al Gore has been demoted from his very own Round-Up section and must now get used to the new reality of slumming it with the (often literally) great unwashed.  The Goreacle can appeal this decision, but the evidence against him is strong – see his continued confusion between weather and climate and his sudden concern for the world’s poor.  Someone tell Gore those are the same poor people who pay too much for food thanks in large part to Al’s politically motivated support for ethanol.

David Suzuki suffers from demotion too, but he’s an experienced hippie well used to the close press of patchouli-scented bodies so he’ll be fine.  He only gets a mention because his Foundation is calling for some chemicals to be banned from more products that just drinking bottles.  Never mind that even the panic-prone World Health Organization thinks that Canada’s ban on BPA is premature, Suzuki’s got a narrative to feed.  In ten years we’ll probably find that the science behind the BPA scare is no better than the MMR vaccine fraud, but that doesn’t mean people are paying attention.

Joe Romm is good at angry rhetoric, but science – notsomuch.  More graph waggery and a peek at how Al Gore fudged the inconvenient truth that CO2 lags temperature.

Britain only has one Green MP, but that might be one too many.  Caroline Lucas wants to put the nation on a war footing to tackle global warming – because remember all the fun of economic ruin, rationing and the blitz?  Poverty can be fun and Gaia will thank you for it.  Delingpole dismantles Lucas’s war machine with a few well placed truth mines.

If Arctic ice is recovering, that must be good for the polar bears.  So why aren’t hippies partying at the good news?

Global warming muppet Jim Hansen doubles down on desperate and claims we’re at a tipping point and the seas will rise ‘metres’ this century.  Wait, didn’t we already hear this in 1989? Here’s some recommended reading for Hansen.

Alarmist journalist Mark Hertsgaard is very pleased with himself for inventing a new term for skeptics ‘climate cranks’.  This is a win for Mark because calling people you disagree with a new name is waaaay more effective than making your case with facts.  Oh, wait – he doesn’t have any of those, so he’s going to Washington to confront cranks, or something:

I will go to Washington the week of January 31 to confront the climate cranks—in Congress, in the media and in the corporate sector—and try to stop them from further sabotaging our response to the climate crisis. My partners in this effort will include the group Kids vs Global Warming, whose iMatter march aims to put a million kids in the streets on Mother’s Day to demand that our leaders address climate change as if our children’s future matters

Note to hippies – your mom may not thank you for dragging them out to a rally on Mother’s Day instead of receiving a nice bunch of flowers and a visit.  Just sayin’.

California dreaming screaming: the Golden State is falling apart but hippies are using a butterfly to stop new power projects.

James Cameron’s wiki page ponders whether or not it’s time to take extreme measures to fix over-population the same week that the man himself took a private plane to New Zealand for a party.  No, really.

smurfs gone wild

Rolling Stone names 12 politicians and executives they say are blocking progress on global warming.  Interestingly they blame Sarah Palin but not the Democrat controlled Congress, Senate and President who held all the power  they needed for two years to effect policies to fix climate, but didn’t.  Odd that.

Soylent Green unleashes righteous fury on President Obama’s State of the Union speech.

Hollywood looks a little silly these days for celebrating Al Gore’s documentary fantasy An Inconvenient Truth, so you’d think they’d learn and not repeat the error with another climate-related hit job movie.  OK, I kid, I kid.

A desmogger realizes that biking to work can’t save the planet, but hopes setting an example may make a difference.  So take a carbon-spewing train across the continent or fly to Europe guilt-free, because Richard did and he’s leading by example.

Donna Laframboise is probably featured on dartboards throughout IPCC HQ.  This week she dismantles the hall of mirrors that disguises the true purpose of the IPCC, and for good measure digs up the internal grumblings of members regarding organization leader Raj Pachauri.

Early settlers in America caused the little ice-age.  Who knew the Puritans were that cold?

Greens heart Genghis.  Who knew that erasing 40 million people would be so good for the planet?  Maybe that gory 10:10 movie was just a rehearsal.

Inconvenient predictions are a favorite on this blog (see the left sidebar) – but George Monbiot is probably wishing he’d not claimed we’d be out of animal feed by 2012.  Awkward.

Radio star Simon has Oz’s Alarmist of the Year.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

In the State of the Union speech, President Obama called for the days of innovation like America enjoyed when Thomas Edison was making everything better.  Which makes banning Edison’s light bulb sort of awkward, no?  Save the incandescent.

Greens love to blame population for all the planet’s ills.  The problem is a manufactured one, naturally:

No, there are not (and will never be) too many people for the planet to feed. As the report’s lead author, Dr Tim Fox, pointed out, its verdict is not based on speculative guesses about the development of new agricultural processes as yet unknown: “We can meet the challenge of feeding a planet of 9 billion people through the application of existing technologies”

Renewables are great, until the subsidies run out.  France learns the hard way.

2010 was the hottest year, or joint-hottest year, or the coldest year.  Take your pick, believing in global warming means never having to be wrong about anything.

Uh oh, pesky cosmic rays do more to affect temperature than a trace gas essential to life on Earth.  This will become a global emergency just as soon as government figures out a way to tax cosmic rays.

a comic Ray, not a cosmic ray

Compact fluorescent lamps are great, except for the mercury poisoning, poor light and increased carbon emissions.  Wait, what?

We’re saved – European winters will be freezing for 20 to 40 years.  Good job, hippies.

John McCain calls ethanol a joke, suggests subsidies should be scrapped to save money.

A silicon valley insider tells investors to run when they hear ‘green jobs’ or ‘carbon taxes’.

GE’s CEO Jeffrey Immelt was hand-picked by the administration to lead the new Council on Jobs and Competitiveness, because nothing says you’re serious about American jobs like hiring the man who fired 18,000 workers in 2008/9 and moved ‘green jobs’ factories to China.

The Himalayan glaciers will be gone by 2035.  No, that’s wrong, we meant 2350.  No, wait, Himalayan Glaciers are advancing.  Climate scientists and credibility, not necessarily in the same room at the same time.

Oh noes, electric cars have hidden costs:

…there’s no such thing as an environmentally-friendly car. Even gas and electric vehicles require electricity generated through un-clean methods, and simply shift the pollution to someplace far away. Cars also require extensive Earth-killing tar and asphalt, which harms the ground and contributes to climate change by trapping heat. The manufacturing process for cars is resource-intensive, and electric batteries are require particularly toxic materials.

The WWF said that Greenland is melting.  Yeah, that’s not happening either.  At least warmists were right when they blamed Pakistan’s flooding on global warming.  Or not. Defending these clowns must be like beating your head against a wall – nice when it stops.  Next thing you know we’ll discover that polar bears can swim hundreds of miles without dying.  Oh, wait, nevermind. Pesky adaptable animals, don’t they realize hippies are raising money from the ‘drowning’ bears myth?  Some species have no respect.

The global weather is fine, it’s temperature measuring stations that seem to be in danger.

Whitewash is peeling in the UK as it occurs to some folks that maybe the Climategate inquiries didn’t ask many questions.

Global warming is caused by nature.  Add it to The List - it’s the only thing that actually belongs on it.

In Obama’s America, Newt’s endanger government departments.

In Australia, the greens blamed the flooding in Queensland on global warming.  So imagine their dismay when green programs are slashed to free up money to help the flood recovery.  If you listen closely, you can hear Simon laughing.

Part Four: AGW in the News

The Journal wonders why Britons aren’t buying the global warming hoax:

With warming of the climate system pronounced as ‘unequivocal’ throughout the scientific community it is in stark contrast that only 26 per cent of UK nationals currently acknowledge climate change to be primarily attributable to human activities.

The author is studying for a career in carbon management, which will be about as much use as a philosophy degree by the time she graduates.  You’re welcome.

Tourists are getting their boogie on to the sounds of calving glaciers in Disko Bay, Greenland.  Tourists wishing to see Antarctica before it melts should book early to avoid disappointment – the International Maritime Organization wants to limit shipping in the region due to the number of vessels that sink or get into trouble.  Not to be cruel, but isn’t a boat full of global warming hippies hitting an iceberg exactly what Darwinism is for?

Some jobs are green, but not Steve Jobs – Apple is busted for iPoisoning Chinese workers and iPolluting.  Say, isn’t that Al Gore fella on the Apple board?

The National Post asks if volcanoes were the cause of mass extinctions.  Residents of  ancient Pompeii were unavailable for comment.

Tough talk from Orange County – put up or shut up on global warming:

Many in the new Congress were elected on promises to re-evaluate global warming claims used to justify Draconian regulations. A “team of nongovernment and non-U.N. experts must be established with access to all the raw data, records, adjustments, fudges … and computer codes currently being black-boxed by government scientists,” says Robert Ferguson, president of the nonprofit Science and Public Policy Institute for “sound public policy based on sound science.” We agree.

Exxon pokes hippies in the eye, tells the world that CO2 emissions will increase 25% by 2030.  Greens sobbed into their bio-beers, but trees, crop yields and plantlife threw a party.

BBC insider Peter Sissons revealed the depths of warmist bias at the broadcaster:

It’s the lack of simple curiosity about one of the great issues of our time that I find so puzzling about the BBC. When the topic first came to ­prominence, the first thing I did was trawl the internet to find out as much as possible about it.  Anyone who does this with a mind not closed by religious fervour will find a mass of material by respectable scientists who question the orthodoxy… Yet the cream of the BBC’s inquisitors during my time there never laid a glove on those who repeated the ­mantra that ‘the science is settled’.
Meanwhile, Al Gore, the former U.S. Vice-President and climate change campaigner, entertained the BBC’s editorial elite in his suite at the Dorchester and was given a free run to make his case to an admiring internal audience at Television Centre.

Ding dong, the European carbon market is dead.  It was killed by criminal activity, but by crooks from the outside.  Which is genuinely a surprise.

Canada’s government refused to consider unilateral cap and trade, which probably made David Suzuki mad.  Bonus.

Swimmers in Redditch, England can enjoy their splashing around secure in the knowledge that the water has been warmed by the incinerators of the crematorium next door.

Andrew revkin calls climate the ‘c-word’ after the President forgot to mention in in the SOTU speech.

The UK mandated use of biofuels mixed with regular gas and diesel.  Unfortunately only 31% of the biofuels are actually green enough to pass the governments standards.  Oops.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

This week saw the blog surge with hits from people all seeking the same thing – Emmy Rossum hotness.  I’m unable to explain why her popularity is burgeoning, but I do know not to mess with the will of the people.  You demand more Emmy, so you get it.  It’s only her second time as the global hottie, but we can agree she’s warming to the task.

*click*

Thanks for reading.