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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Mar. 3rd 2011

The hippie of the week is a serial overachiever, climate camp is canceled and if you ever wondered what opera sung by Elmer Fudd might sound like, wonder no more.

Did I mention there’s a hottie too?

Part One: Hippie of the Week

The hippie of the week is the head of the Chesapeake Climate Action Network, Mike Tidwell.  Coincidentally he is also winner of the Montana Militiaman of the week, the winner of Home Defenseman of the week and American horticulturalist of the week.  It’s safe to say this four-way combination has never been achieved before, and is unlikely to be repeated.  Let’s see why Mike the overachiever is such a winner:

For hippie of the week:

Ten years ago, I put solar panels on my roof and began eating locally grown food. I bought an energy-efficient refrigerator that uses the power equivalent of a single light bulb. I started heating my home with a stove that burns organically fertilized corn kernels. I even restored a gas-free lawn mower for manual yardwork.

For Montana Militiaman of the week:

Today, underneath the solar panels, there’s a new set of deadbolt locks on all my doors. There’s a new Honda GX390 portable power generator in my garage, ready to provide backup electricity…

…I’m reinforcing my basement windows to protect emergency supplies.

For Home Defenseman of the week:

I even took my first-ever lesson in firearms use last December, an introduction to skeet shooting. I told myself it was in part for sport, but I did it mostly to test various types of shotguns for eventual purchase.

And, finally, for American Horticulturalist of the week:

…last week I bought a starter kit to raise tomatoes and lettuce behind barred basement windows.

Mike is keen for his fans not to misunderstand:

I’m not a survivalist or an “end times” enthusiast. When it comes to climate change, I’m just a realist.

And I’m a ballerina.  Congratulations to Mike on a truly impressive hippie of the week win.

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Good news for scaremongers, the climate models that turn people off for being too alarmist are not alarmist enough. No, really.

Oh noes, global warming will kill comedy festivals.  Add it to The List.

Readers in North America will have noticed that their dishes aren’t as clean as they used to be.  Thanks, hippies.

An Aussie MP stabbed his electorate in the back, the people react and the same Aussie MP is suddenly afraid of losing his job.  It’s almost as if elections have consequences.  Other than for Chinese mothers, that is.  Simon has more to say on the Gillard carbon tax lie.

The BBC’s Richard Black muses about how the world may shun the US if the Republican-led congress continues to not buy into the global warming scam.  Whether or not a Beeb journalist should be infusing his columns with ‘denier’ references, here’s 50 reasons why the world will never shun the US:

from The Economist, click to enlarge

Greens and hippies across Ontario are upset with everyone.  Wait, is that news?

You know what global warming hates?  Lodgepole pines, that’s what.  Take that, trees.

Al Gore (remember him?) warned against the triple cost of coal.  It’s unclear if the triple cost of coal is more or less than the cost of Al’s own quest for power.

DeSmog wants the US military to wage war against despots in North Africa global warming.  No doubt the brave folk of the USMC will soon have the theory surrounded and demand it put down the trace gas and back away slowly.  Elsewhere, DeSmog received a debunking worthy of a few moments of your time.

Green on green action (Part the First) in California.  Hippies love to stop energy projects, but when the energy is renewable, other hippies take offense.

Pity the hippies.  If you ever wondered why they are such a dour, joyless bunch, take a look at what they get to read for a Weekly Round-Up.  Skeptics have more fun.  You’re welcome.

Donna Laframboise explains Big Green:

Many environmental groups are now corporate behemoths. Which means they face many of the same pressures as other corporate entities. In order to maintain their current level of staffing, they need to raise funds. They raise funds by raising the fear level in society – by hyping supposed planetary emergencies and ecological holocausts.

Say goodbye to Granny, kids, it’s time to off her before she uses up any more precious global resources.

A teacher in Utah lost her job after a visiting environmentalist fired up her class enough to get them protesting on the streets.  Note to teachers inviting people to speak to your class, don’t invite anyone facing ten years in jail for making false representations at a government auction.  Just a safety tip.

Spring is nearly here, and thoughts may soon turn to longer evenings spent sipping cocktails on your patio.  Wait, you have a patio?  How could you, don’t you love Gaia?

Lifehacker has simple rules for buying fish ‘responsibly’.  One question, why are you buying fish when there are still cows on the planet? You know what happens to people who eat too much fish…

fish. it's no steak

The EPA wants to regulate CO2, the trace gas essential to life on Earth they decided to call a pollutant.  So you’d expect the chief of EPA’s air programs to know what the level of atmospheric CO2 would be, right?  Yeah, nevermind.

Oh noes, gap year trust fund hippies in the UK are suddenly without a venue for this summer’s slacking.  Climate camp is canceled. The reason, it’s like too much work, dude:

“There was a feeling that Climate Camp was committed to a certain kind of action, the annual camp, which is really a huge commitment in terms of energy and resources”

Apparently the immediate global crisis of global warming comes second to sleeping in.

Finally, some good news for hippies. Really, really good news.

Green on green (Part the Second) in the UK, where a week of ‘raising awareness’ has the micro-alarmed pitched against the macro-alarmed.  Can’t they both lose?

Canada’s least tolerant man, the fruit fly geneticist David Suzuki not only wants to throw politicians in jail, he wants to be the arbiter of who is fit to lead.  One problem for Dave is that he uses Canada’s BPA ban as an example.  But even the WHO thinks Canada jumped the gun and based it on junk science.  Reality 1, Dave 0.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Another poll shows Americans are pretty sure global warming is a problem.  Just kidding, they don’t buy it:

…when asked their views on global warming, 32 percent of respondents said it was “overblown” as a problem and 51 percent believed no action should be taken, while 48 percent believed some action is warranted.

That’s a consensus, right?

Up is down, black is white, carbon taxes grown economies.

If you want to figure out the driver for global warming leaders, follow the money.

Job creation in tough economies is hard.  The EPA makes it harder.

Proved reserves of oil and gas are at historic highs in the US.  Which means the reason we could see $100/barrel oil is thanks to the Obama administration not allowing anyone to exploit it:

what's wrong with this picture?

Remember during the Bush presidency when hippies paraded ‘No Blood for Oil’ signs?  Under the Obama administration, the signs should read ‘More Blood for Oil’.  How else to interpret antipathy toward Canadian oil in favor of the revolution-ravaged Mid-East and North Africa?

A global entity claimed lowering CO2 in the atmosphere would have no effect on global warming.  Which Koch-funded evil right wing denial machine dared utter this heresy?  The United Nations.  Wait, what?

Organic veggies cost more, because they’re better for you.  Except they’re not, pesticide assisted legumes contain more vitamins.

Congratulations to Anthony Watt’s for winning Best Science Blog.  That’s a consensus, right?

San Francisco got snow for the first time in 35 years.  A confused populace cleared the streets in record time using only tightly rolled dollar bills and their nasal passages, but failed to get a buzz.

the wrong kind of snow

Oh noes, the UK discovers that there is no renewable energy industry without generous subsidies.

Scotland wanted to be the Saudi Arabia of wind energy.  The bonny lads & lassies may want to rethink that goal before the current dance, dance revolution craze sweeping North Africa reaches north of Hadrian’s wall.  That and the fact green projects kill just as many jobs in the UK as they do in Spain:

A study by consultants Verso Economics found there was a negative impact from the policy to promote the industry.  It said 3.7 jobs were lost for every one created in the UK as a whole and that political leaders needed to engage in “honest debate” about the issue.

Good punchline, no?  For a complete takedown of the UK wind boondoggle, read Booker.

Dr. Junkscience wonders if the EPA might be looking up at the underside of a bus before the next election.

Consumer Reports reviewed the Chevy Volt and the outcome was not pretty.

Europeans will be pleased to learn the cost of saving Gaia from a trace gas is only €6,444.00.  Each.

NYC lost its battle to make all cabs hybrids.  Now if some evil genius can invent a car that runs on second-hand smoke and salt, we’ll have a real laugh riot.

Who will save our delicate planet from environmentalism’s unintended consequences?  India discovered that switching to ‘clean’ fuels is worse for emissions.

Elmer Fudd, opera and poking fun at hippies.  Surely this should be funnier:

..

Why is the EPA okay with injecting a dangerous pollutant into the ground?

Part Four: AGW in the News

In Ontario, green job creation is a goal of the Liberal government.  Each one only costs $207,000 – what could possibly go wrong with economics like that?

Pesky developing nations enjoy record crops as warmist journals wail about poor crops.

What happened to Door #3, Monty?  The NYT:

Is it worse to be swallowed by the sea or racked by famine?

It’s the Sun, stupid.  A sun storm could be a ‘global Katrina’.  Because electro-magntic storms are exactly like building a large city below sea-level in a flood zone and appointing the world’s worst mayor to oversee disaster prep.  Or something.

Journalists, doing the fact checking blogs won’t do.  Oh wait, nevermind.

Dam it, Aussies are faced with paying $13.50/kilolitre for fresh water instead of $1.  Green choices at work.

Anglers in the UK are pitched against landowners who want to cash in on micro-hydro projects for green cash.  How a small dam will interfere with a man’s ability to sit in a boat and drink beer all day is unclear.

Go green, leave the car at home and bike to work.  For added green kudos, keel over and die from a heart attack and make Jonathon Porritt happy.

Flood warnings come at a high cost when proposed solutions are based on agenda-driven ‘science’ and are unnecessary:

“When your results represent the output of four computer models, fed into a fifth computer model, whose output goes to a sixth computer model, which is calibrated against a seventh computer model, and then your results are compared to a series of different results from the fifth computer model, but run with different parameters, in order to show that flood risks have increased from greenhouse gases…” you cannot pretend that this is “a valid representation of reality”, let alone “a sufficiently accurate representation of reality to guide our future actions”.

Hippies hanging out around Haight-Ashbury may need to hold their noses even more than usual.  It’s not the patchouli, but something far, far worse.  Low-flow toilets can’t move the crud.

The Obama administration issued a drilling permit.  One.  That should be enough to offset the oil supply put at risk by unrest in Egypt, Libya, Yemen, Bahrain, Oman and other stone-age oil-rich locales, right?

Green activists work for the government to enact eco-laws, then jump ship to work for firms who can exploit the green law for fun and profit.  Conflicts of interest, much?

Live free or die.  New Hampshire repealed it’s state cap and trade scheme.  Hippies in next-door Vermont were unavailable for comment.

The Eastern Cougar is extinct.  It may be, or it may be hanging with the extinct frogs that showed up last week, freshly tanned and refreshed from their sojourn away from man’s prying eyes.  Either way, here’s a last look at the hapless cougar:

I crack myself up

Your failure to invite strangers into your vehicle daily is killing the planet.

Bjorn Lomborg, ex-front man of ABBA turned statistician suggests green jobs are a false promise:

Alternative energy sources such as solar and wind create significantly more expensive fuel and electricity than traditional energy sources. Increasing the cost of electricity and fuel will hurt productivity, reduce overall employment and cut the amount of disposable income that people have. Yet many studies used by advocates of green jobs have not addressed these costs at all, overlooking both the cost of investment and the price hikes to be faced by end users.

Green jobs meet their Waterloo, the winner takes it all and it’s all about money, money, money.  Or something.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

Our global hottie this week is making only her second appearance on the round-up.  She co-hosted the Oscars last Sunday, where a billion people watched her mighty efforts to be entertaining while attached to a baked James Franco.  So let’s admire the smokin’ hot Ms. Anne Hathaway.  By the time this round-up is done we’ll probably have doubled her viewing figures from last weekend.  Or not.

*click*

Thanks for reading.

Many environmental groups are now corporate behemoths. Which means they face many of the same pressures as other corporate entities. In order to maintain their current level of staffing, they need to raise funds. They raise funds by raising the fear level in society – by hyping supposed planetary emergencies and ecological holocausts.