Greens hate office supplies, the EPA makes ears bleed and in Antarctica, no one can hear you scream.
Hippies of the world celebrated last week’s hiatus, but we’re back this week with matrimony, malthusians and misanthropists galore. Become caffeinated or inebriated and jump on in. Be nice to the hottie, she’s a cutie.
Part One: Hippie of the Week
HOTW isn’t a person this week, but an event.
You may have heard about the royal wedding of William and Kate taking place tomorrow (or the 29th if you happen to be reading this after the fact). William, or ‘Wills’ wanted a small wedding, but that was ruled out by granny (the Queen) who declared the wedding needed to be a Gaia-stomping all-out royalfest of pageantry. But why?
Two words. Prince Charles:
…the event that most royal watchers had expected to be the monarchy’s big splash, the Queen’s 2012 Diamond Jubilee, was scaled down to what one commentator called “a low-key, village-fete-and-street-party affair,” while the grandchild’s wedding was upgraded to a shower of opulence on a scale not seen since Elizabeth’s coronation in 1953. The hope is that this great blast of royal love will be sharply etched in the public’s memory, for a decade or more, as the matter of succession becomes uglier.
Yep, the reason the Queen is insisting on a huge wedding is because Chuckles, her number one son & heir is a full-on activist moonbat into homeopathy, global warming and political interference. But not necessarily in that order:
The heir to the throne has spent the past decade transforming himself from the morose face of regal indifference into a powerful businessman, outspoken political activist and aggressive lobbyist.
The irony is the carbon cost of Wills nuptials is huge, all because his dotty pops is a warmist:
The international event will generate 6,765 tonnes of carbon dioxide equivalents (CO2e), 12 times the annual emissions from the London palace or 1,230 times the annual emissions of the average UK household.
Nice work, Chuck.
Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers
The Guardian turns against champagne environmentalists. The good news is that they won’t change their lifestyles, but they will stop advocating nonsense as soon as they get coverage like that. #winning.
If you ever wondered about the alarmists behind desmogblog, the ugly truth is revealed:
DeSmog Blog’s favorite tactic is to claim scientists and policy analysts who disagree with alarmist global warming theory are funded by “dirty money.” The revelation of the blog’s major source of funding as a convicted money launderer may undermine DeSmog’s attempts to smear the integrity of respected, law-abiding scientists who disagree with them.
Hippies and warmists like to believe they know the truth because they’re just smarter than skeptics. The evidence suggests otherwise – an office supplies business in Iowa has been receiving threats from hippies. The small firm is called Koch Brothers. Hippies, meet facepalm.
HOTW alum Tim Flannery may yet be the skeptics best friend.
How can you tell when a retired TV person isn’t getting enough speaking gigs? When he apologizes for providing balanced global warming coverage, that’s how. Don Shelby’s calendar will soon be filled with engagements on campuses across the continent. Well played, sir.
Scaremongers are losing the public as the sham science is revealed for what it is, so they pray for a disaster, natch.
Green on green action: a hippie unleashes his potty mouth and turns on other hippies like weepy Bill McKibben and Randy Olsen. I suspect the keyboard was spittle flecked in the Rommulan way at the end of that diatribe.
Doddery TV natural history reporter David Attenborough knows what’s good for Gaia – fewer folks:
The 84-year-old praised controversial 18th century demographer Thomas Malthus, who argued that populations increase until they are halted by ‘misery and vice’. He added: ‘The population of the world is now growing by 80 million a year. One and a half million a week. A quarter of a million a day. ‘The government’s chief scientist and the last president of the Royal Society have both referred to the ‘perfect storm’ of population growth, climate change, and peak oil production, leading inexorably to more and more insecurity in the supply of food, water and energy.’
I have the same suggestion for Attenborough as I had for Jonathon Porritt – after you.
A pop tart with a $ in her handle doesn’t like Canada. Ke$ha has joined up with the PETA lunatics to protest the annual seal hunt. In related news, Gisele Bundchen’s hubbie is nervous.
Hippies don’t understand that skeptics don’t believe them because the science is dodgy and their claims are wild and false. It can never be their fault you’re not buying it – it’s yours. But don’t worry, you can’t help having a defective brain.
…since Festinger’s day, an array of new discoveries in psychology and neuroscience has further demonstrated how our preexisting beliefs, far more than any new facts, can skew our thoughts and even color what we consider our most dispassionate and logical conclusions. This tendency toward so-called “motivated reasoning” helps explain why we find groups so polarized over matters where the evidence is so unequivocal: climate change, vaccines, “death panels,”
Hey, you know what doing nothing about global warming is like? Nailing a messiah to a cross, that’s what.
That shower you took this morning will be worth a gazillion dollars in the future, when water becomes a rare treasure. Think about that next time before you fart in the bathtub.
Grist gets unreasonably excited because a skeptic decided to join the hippie commune. Apparently the event is so rare that each person changing their mind to the warmist point of view now gets a personal welcome article.
Music lovers everywhere demand the EPA be defunded following the release of a crime against music. The ‘Click It’ rap is so bad it makes Rebecca Black sound like Mozart by comparison. I’m not kidding. Some lyrics:
You can pick up paper and recycle it too, and there are many other things that you can do. You can click off the game boy, flip off the light, while you’re brushing your teeth, turn the handle to the right. Close the fridge door – keep it shut tight, no food has been added since the middle of the night. A 5 minute shower is all that’s needed to keep energy from being depleted. A long sleeve sweater is what I know – will keep you toasty and the fuel bills low. Plant a tree in your neighborhood, besides giving shade you know it looks real good.
Vanilla Ice is preparing a public statement on losing the worst rap song ever award.
Young hippies have realized how to turn the tide of skepticism and save the planet. They will leverage their awesome:
Those fearful forces haven’t got much vision for the future, and we sure do: we are identity awesome. We are the people not afraid to build something better than the assumptions handed to us.
Someone was allowed to stay up after her bedtime to watch X-Men movies, methinks.
Tom Nelson 1, Noam Chomsky 0.
Part Three: Inconvenient Truths
Anthony Watts has a new feature at WUWT – Climate Fails. It aims to be a repository for all the failed claims of warmists, but it’s unclear if the Interwebs has enough server space for them all. Here’s some from Earth Day 1970:
- “Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.”
- “Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.”
- “By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate…that there won’t be any more crude oil. You’ll drive up to the pump and say, `Fill ‘er up, buddy,’ and he’ll say, `I am very sorry, there isn’t any.’”
Good news for Leaf and Volt drivers in Washington State – the government wants to tax electric vehicles because they contribute to rear and tear of roads but pay no gas taxes. To be fair, EV’s don’t use a lot of road before they drift to a lifeless stop.
Uh oh. The folks who whitewashed the motley CRU turn out to be connected to a ‘shadowy group’. Perhaps that’s why the geniuses at East Anglia refused a FOI request for their data. Because nothing says you have nothing to hide like refusing to share your data, right? And they wonder why no-one trusts them.
Antarctica might be melting, or not. What we do know is that the scientists figuring the question out aren’t great protectors of the wilderness. First they fill holes with (gasp) fossil fuels to stop them freezing up, then they import alien species with their supplies:
A new study has revealed that fresh fruit and vegetables being sent to feed the 4,000 or so scientists stationed in Antarctica are laden with foreign species of insects, slugs, worms, plant seeds and fungi that pose a risk to the ecosystems on the world’s coldest continent.
In the UK, only a quarter of people are concerned about global warming. In the whole world, the percentage isn’t much better.
BMW, the German car maker says that electric vehicles aren’t for everyone: “[EVs] won’t work for most people. For at least 90 percent and maybe more of the population, [an EV] won’t work [at the current battery range].”
Gas prices are nearing record levels, so it makes perfect sense the EPA blocked Shell from drilling off Alaska, right? Don’t sweat it, the President is betting on Brazil. Until he figures out that $5/gallon gas means a Carterite career, that is.
Portugal porked by green.
Germany is killing off nuke plants in the wake of the Japanese tsunami’s effect, but the result will be a 30% rise in energy prices. Who knew bird shredders and solar panels were so useless? Perhaps the newly awakened George Monbiot should have a word with the Deutsch:
Over the last fortnight I’ve made a deeply troubling discovery. The anti-nuclear movement to which I once belonged has misled the world about the impacts of radiation on human health. The claims we have made are ungrounded in science, unsupportable when challenged, and wildly wrong. We have done other people, and ourselves, a terrible disservice.
Old religion isn’t so sure about the new religion of global warming.
The not-at-all-political UN IPCC is making moves to ensure it is seen as a serious scientific organization and nothing to do with advocacy. Not really. They’ve hired the WWF’s chief spokesperson as an editor for the forthcoming AR5 report. Donna Laframboise exposed that gem, along with finding more Greenpeace cash and a lack of personnel to monitor IPCC behavior:
The amazing thing about the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is that it inhabits a world without checks-and-balances. No internal – or external – enforcement mechanisms exist. Sure, the IPCC has taken the time to write down some rules of the road. But it has never hired any traffic cops. There have never been any spot checks, radar readings, or speeding tickets – all of which are necessary if one actually expects the rules to be followed.
Poor Raj Pachauri could be forgiven for wishing Minx the Merciless never failed proctology school.
Note to self-righteous hippies – skeptics conserve too.
Obama has a fevah, and the only cure is more outsourcing.
Part Four: AGW in the News
The British government has canceled solar projects after discovering they can’t afford the FiT rates they promised.
The sustainable development hoax, explained.
Oh noes, the environmental movement is a flop:
…the climate push was … a total flop. By late 2010, the main cap-and-trade bill had fizzled out in the Senate; not a single Republican would agree to vote for it. Greens ended up winning zilch from Congress, not even minor legislation to boost renewable electricity or energy efficiency. Worse, after the 2010 midterms, the House GOP became overrun with climate deniers, while voters turned apathetic about global warming. All those flashy eco-ads and all that tireless eco-lobbying only got us even further from solving climate change than we were in 2008.
Of course the efforts only failed because skeptics spent more money than hippies, most of it supplied by the evil Koch brothers. Except the greens had more cash, much of it supplied by shadowy magnates. But that’s an inconvenient truth and must be shouted down, right Joe?
Remember when we gave up aerosols, efficient fridges and air conditioning to save the planet from a growing ozone hole? Well, it’s back, and this time it’s causing global warming:
“Ozone is now widely believed to be the dominant agent of climate change in the Southern Hemisphere, so this actually means that the international agreements regulating climate change cannot be confined to dealing with carbon dioxide,” said the study’s lead author, Sarah Kang of Columbia University.
Sounds like it’s time to reinvent the fridge again. Oh wait, they have, and this time it’s lethal:
I’m sure firefighters will be thrilled with the changeover from fire-suppressing CFCs through fire-retarding HFCs to downright explosive cyclopentane, turning people’s white goods into domestic incendiaries and explosives.
Jihad-ready appliances, what could possibly go wrong?
Unhappy hipsters learned that Apple is the least green tech company evah. Al Gore would resign his board seat if he was serious about environmentalism and possessed an ethical bone in his body. I kid, I kid.
Saskatchewan is to spend $1.2 billion on a carbon capture scheme. That’s over $1100 per person in the sparsely populated prairie province.
Greens need to stop crying wolf? Let’s hope not, I have a blog to feed.
It’s time to worry. Mars has vast oceans of CO2. Earth allegedly has an atmosphere already burning up because of the pesky trace gas essential for life. Perhaps they’re already seeding the atmosphere with plant food to kill us with slightly nicer weather?
What’s worse than global warming? Hippie solutions for global warming, that’s what:
…natural gas is lower in emissions than coal (higher than hydro, wind or solar of course), we can build the plants quickly, it’s a domestic fuel, it hits pretty much all the right buttons. Further, it will actually work, work in the sense of providing us with the power we need and desire when we actually need and desire it. But I’m actually seeing people arguing that we can’t shouldn’t use gas because it will stop us from investing in windmills. Which, when you think about it, is probably true: building something that works will indeed prevent us from building something that doesn’t.
Part Five: Global Hottie
This week we have a brand new to the round-up hottie, the recently wed Reese Witherspoon. She stars in a new movie about elephants in the shower, or something. That’s not important, welcome Reese to the round-up, I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last time she appears.
Thanks for reading.