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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, May 5th 2011

There’s an app for Al Gore, Osama takes the big sleep and Prius drivers lack testicular fortitude, or something.

All this and a hot, hot, hottie besides.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

George Monbiot is perhaps the most well known warmist journalist in the world.  Writing for the leftie Guardian, George enjoys alternative energy, global warming and misanthropy.  And evening walks on the beach.  Maybe.

George is also not afraid to speak up when he sees something wrong, whether or not it endears him to hippies.  Post-Climategate, Monbiot was one of the few global warmists to suggest that ‘hiding the decline’ didn’t sound terribly scientific and acknowledged there might be a problem with the Motley CRU’s methodology.

This week, George is at it again.  He’s fearful of what sort of future greens have in a world that has abundant fossil fuels:

The problem we face is not that we have too little fossil fuel, but too much. As oil declines, economies will switch to tar sands, shale gas and coal; as accessible coal declines, they’ll switch to ultra-deep reserves (using underground gasification to exploit them) and methane clathrates. The same probably applies to almost all minerals: we will find them, but exploiting them will mean trashing an ever greater proportion of the world’s surface. We have enough non-renewable resources of all kinds to complete our wreckage of renewable resources: forests, soil, fish, freshwater, benign weather. Collapse will come one day, but not before we have pulled everything down with us.

The problem for George is pesky economic growth and people’s desire for stuff.  More and more stuff:

Accommodation makes sense only if the economy is reaching a steady state. But the clearer the vision becomes, the further away it seems. A steady state economy will be politically possible only if we can be persuaded to stop grabbing. This in turn will be feasible only if we feel more secure. But the global race to the bottom and its destruction of pensions, welfare, public services and stable employment make people less secure, encouraging us to grasp as much for ourselves as we can.

Good luck affording state pensions, welfare and other lefty favorites without economic growth.

have a go if you think you're hard enough

Monbiot’s column is full of angst, but he does nail the hippies major dilemma – how can they push us toward cleaner electric power without nuclear.  No renewable can provide the teraWatts we’ll need:

If we close down nuclear plants, we must accept an even greater expansion of renewables than currently proposed. Given the tremendous public resistance to even a modest increase in windfarms and new power lines, that’s going to be tough.

RTWT.  Monbiot is slowly figuring out the green agenda is doomed, but can’t get past his belief in the new paganism of global warming to realize his fears of a planetary demise are greatly exaggerated.

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Donna Laframboise discovered that the IPCC hired another veteran from the NGO ranks, this time Michael Oppenheimer of the Environmental Defense Fund.  Also, the IPCC uses climate modelers to evaluate climate models:

…the IPCC recruits the same people who work with these models on a daily basis to write the section of the climate bible that passes judgment on them. This is like asking parents to rate their own children’s attractiveness. Do we really expect them to tell us their kids are homely?

Jolly Prince Chuckles saw his son married awf to a commoner last week and headed to the USA for a visit.  He intends to lobby congress about global warming, or eating meat.  Or both.  If congress had any sense of history they might remind Chuck that he represents the old and busted version of America and that there was this revolution thing a while back.  But they won’t.

Oh, and Ann and Phelim have a nicely timed mini-movie about Chuck:

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Aussie activist Clive Hamilton wants more radicalism.  And Mad Men reruns, but mostly radicalism.

Apple Board member Al Gore wants you to buy a product from the world’s least green tech company so you can buy his app and learn about all the ways the planet is porked.

Black ops on green action: there was an odd silence from hippies and warmists after the United States government deliberately targeted and killed one of their own.  If Charles Manson is mysteriously shivved in the shower next week, expect Jim Hansen, Michael Mann et al to flee to non-extradition countries in a hurry.  Of course, they could surrender and be sent to the green paradise that is Camp Gitmo.  Commie neighbors, sunshine and free food – it’s like Sandals for hippies.

Grist was actually excited that bin Laden was waxed.  Unfortunately they confused a carbon-based (ex) life-form with a carbon based fuel and wished for oil to be ‘killed’.  So I drove around the block.  Take that, oil.

ex-Governor Bill Richardson thinks the Obama vs. Osama cage match win means the President can pass a climate bill now.  Someone tell Bill that even with the dead prat bounce, Obama’s numbers are so low he’d have trouble passing gas.

Al Gore (remember him) compares climate skeptics with birthers.  Is that his trump card?

One of the scientists who blamed global warming for tornadoes in America’s south defended his thoughts with Pielke, who responded FTW.

Green groups are using children as human shields in a lawfare blitzkreig that aims to make states enforce global warming laws:

A group of attorneys representing children and young adults began to file legal actions Wednesday in every state and the District of Columbia in an effort to force government intervention on climate change.  The courtroom ploy was backed by activists looking for a legal soft spot to advance a cause that has stumbled in the face of stiff congressional opposition and a skeptical U.S. Supreme Court.

Rich celebrities hate cheap, renewable energy that would benefit millions of poor people.  In Brazil, because Sting loves him some Amazons, or something.

why the long face?

HuffPo reader Linda stumbled across a ‘vicious’ conservative blogger who’s lonely, or something.  Linda’s the breed of Canadian who actually believes Prime Minister Harper eats kittens for breakfast and she’s afraid of what might happen under a conservative majority.  Fear not Linda, the PM does not eat kittens for breakfast.  Lunch, maybe, but he’s a cornflakes guy first thing.

Run away, the sea levels are rising even faster than expected.  Or, considering the preferred observations over time that global warmists apply, the tide came in.  You decide.

As the Northern Hemisphere shakes off a long winter, Grist celebrates that it won’t have to put up with pesky skeptics using record cold weather events against them.  Naturally, the hippies celebrate with a video that features a skeptic having his heart torn out in graphic detail, because that counts as ‘awesome’.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Despite Brad Johnson’s hopes, NOAA shoots down the idea that global warming had anything to do with the record tornado storms last week.

Green math is unkind to solar power projects in New Jersey:

$515 million dollars was spent to eventually power 3250 homes. That means approx $158,000 was spent per home. The average electric bill in the United States is approx $105 a month, or $1260 a year. See where this is going? It’s going to take a long, long time – 125 years to be exact – to break even on this wonderful green project. And the panels only have a lifespan of about 25-30 years so they will need to be replaced long before the money is recouped.

On the other side of the Atlantic, the UK discovered even more expensive renewable energy.  Wind generators were paid £900,000 to NOT produce power.  Hey Britain, I don’t have a giant bird shredder in my back yard – send my cash now.

Ethanol, the awful notion to burn food for fuel, has increased prices of everything that relies on corn or fuel.  So far America has not made much of a fuss about this with its political class, but that’s about to change.  Bacon is becoming unaffordable.  You can mess with people so far before they find something that makes them say ‘enough’.  I’m betting on bacon being that something for America.

yeah, it's like that

Warmists have successfully sold the idea of carbon as pollution.  Note to self.  Must. Try. Harder.

Watts has a new project – the global climatic history page.

Marc Morano on Fox News.  The mere mention of it can detonate a hippie skull at 100 paces.

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Jo Nova discovers a climate model that works.  Click over to enjoy the snark.

Oh noes, only 25% of Brits think the problems of global warming outweigh the risks of slightly milder weather caused by a trace gas essential to life on Earth.

Tim Ball on why global warming alarmism is worse than terrorism:

Sir David King, UK government Science Advisor said, “Climate change is a far greater threat to the world than international terrorism.” King almost got it right. Climate change is not a greater threat, but false promotion of climate change as a threat is greater than international terrorism.

Australia’s Julia Gillard is discovered that there is only three things voters don’t like – her, her lies, and the idea of a carbon tax.  That’s awkward.

It’s official, Prius drivers are girlie men.  Unless they’re girls, of course.

Glaciers will be around for a long, long time yet, despite what hippies fear.

Uh oh, you mean we’re not going to die if evil CO2 reaches 500 ppm?

  • 700 ppm – the concentration in an average living room
  • 900 ppm – concentration in an average kitchen
  • 1,270 ppm – the concentration used to double the growth of Cowpea in a famous video
  • 1,700 ppm – the average concentration in the Cretaceous 145-65 million years ago (early mammals came, plus figs, magnolias, birds, modern sharks)
  • 4,500 ppm – the concentration 444-416 million years ago (the Silurian dominated by corals and mosses); see other values in geological epochs
  • 10,000 ppm – sensitive people start to feel weaker
  • 40,000 ppm – the concentration of CO2 in the air we breath out

Looks like weepy Bill McKibben’s 350.org needs more zeroes.  Other than Bill himself, I mean.

Part Four: AGW in the News

Britain is to be saved from global warming freezing by Indian Ocean currents.  How fitting that the relic of the Raj not only gave Brits a tasty after-pub favorite food (curry) and help with electronics (Curry’s call center) is now currying favor by saving them from the cold.

Here’s a handy tool for relocating American readers.  Don’t live in these ‘top-ten solar’ states.  Unless you like not frying bacon at night.

Climate change spending is at risk of corruption and fraud:

The industries likely to benefit from the $100bn spending on anti-climate change measures include forestry and agriculture. Transparency International is warning its is these industries that could be targeted by fraudsters.

Surely spending on a solutions for a problem created by fraud and corruption isn’t vulnerable to fraud and corruption?

Developed nations are cheating when they calculate carbon emissions.  By not including imported goods, they essentially offshore the environmental impact of consumer goods:

If I want to own and enjoy a cheap, garage-sized TV, all the fossil fuel emissions that result from making it don’t get added to my home account, but to the country of manufacture, most probably China.  As a result, the origins of demand and the place of consumption become insulated from environmental consequences.

Wait, isn’t China green now?  Then offshoring must be good for Gaia, no?

California is on the road to economic self-destruction, again.

Canada’s oil sands is an essential, domestic source of oil for North America, but is also the poster child for Greenpeace and hippie angst.  It’s in for a tough battle.

slick marketing, hippies

Would-be campers at Yellowstone will have to wait another week while crews try to cut a path through the 30ft snow drifts blocking the entrance.

Newsweek declared that tornadoes are caused by global warming and global cooling.  Debunk that, deniers.

There must be an election looming.  Obama makes promises to greens, hoping they will forget about his inability to pass anything even with both the Senate and House in his corner.  The sad truth is that they’ll believe him and vote for him again, because they’re followers and naifs.

The UN projects the world population will surpass seven billion on Halloween 2011.  I guess the timing is supposed to suggest this is a bad thing.  The smart money is buying latex futures:

…UNFPA chief Babatunde Osotimehin said the latest global figures “underscore the urgent need to provide safe and effective family planning to the 215 million women who lack it,” a point echoed by pro-birth control advocacy groups.  Suzanne Ehlers, president of Washington-based Population Action International, called the new projections “a wake-up call for governments to fulfill the global demand for contraception.”

Pop quiz.  What represents a bigger threat to mankind – milder weather caused by a harmless trace gas in the atmosphere, or a 55 million tonne asteroid entering the atmosphere?

The rock, which is quarter of a mile across, will pass between our planet and the moon in November…

Passing by at a distance of just 201,000 miles, the asteroid will be the largest object ever to approach the earth so close. Nasa has officially labelled it a Potentially Hazardous Object, but have stressed there is no danger of impact while on its current course.

Keep your fingers crossed that NASA’s calculations went nowhere near Jim Hansen or Gavin Schmidt’s desks.  And wake up Bruce Willis.

Shale gas is everywhere.  It’s abundant, cheap and therefore must be stopped by hippies.  Don’t let ‘em.

The man who took Jack Welch’s industrial giant and turned it into a government-dependent business version of a welfare crack whore has regrets:

“If I had one thing to do over again I would not have talked so much about green,” Immelt said at an event sponsored by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. “Even though I believe in global warming and I believe in the science … it just took on a connotation that was too elitist; it was too precious and it let opponents think that if you had a green initiative, you didn’t care about jobs. I’m a businessman. That’s all I care about, is jobs.”

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Part Five: Global Hottie

The round-up becomes more popular with each week’s edition, which is astounding when I haven’t featured Charlize Theron in almost a year.  We’ll put that right immediately.  Skeptics, say hello to South Africa’s most popular export that’s not diamonds.

*click*

Thanks for reading.