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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, July 7th 2011

Skeptics are smarter, hippies like hookers and warmist scientists are so much FOIA-gras.

All this, mostly explained, and a steaming global hottie too. Become beveraged and behold the round-up.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

This weeks HOTW is well-known for invading places and climbing things that don’t belong to them. Greenpeace is where gap year kids who lack the funds to spend a year in Goa go to score hippie chicks and learn life skills like finger-painting and emoting for polar bears.

But this week, the eco-warriors stepped over a line by using images that they didn’t have permission to use. In an anti-Volkswagen advertisement, the Greenpeace spoofed the hugely popular VW Star Wars commercial in an effort to discredit das auto maker for it’s opposition to daft green energy standards beloved of ecotards.

not your father's OnStar

George Lucas and his Lucasfilm troopers were a little miffed, the Empire struck back and within days, the hippie rebellion was crushed. That’s bad for Greenpeace on two levels: first, they spent a lot of cash for nothing, and second, even Hollywood is giving a Hoth-like cold shoulder to hippies.

It’s gratifying to see even ewoks can take out hippies, now if Lucas could figure a way to entomb them in Carbonite… mwuahaha

Part Two: Warmists & Alarmists

An ex-US Senator, now UN bigwig wants to hunt down skeptics, but one chick ain’t afeared.

Who will save the world’s poor from global warming NGO’s?

WA [Wildlife Alliance] has herded peasants into community agriculture projects linked to its ecotourism ventures. Peasants at one community called Sovanna Baitong benefited with access to education and health care, but some told the Post they felt “trapped in a state of indentured servitude” and had been threatened with expulsion if they refused to work on plots they had been allocated. “I experienced three years and eight months of the Khmer Rouge regime, and this is similar because they ordered us to work like we are in a totalitarian state,” said one. “It is really miserable to live there.”

Hippies are dumber than a bag of hammers, generally speaking. Skeptics, on the other hand, are shining beacons of erudition.

Recycling you can believe in. A Climategate scientist gets promoted to President of the Commission for Agricultural Meteorology of the World Meteorological Organization. While the title sounds impressive, there’s a good chance his office is a broom cupboard in Turtle Bay. The UN has that many Presidents of Very Important Sounding Acronym Heavy Departments for Spending Money.

Al Gore (remember him?) still thinks rising sea levels are going to drown us all. Which is why he bought a mansion on the Left Coast, or something. He’s still pushing the ‘scientific consensus’ meme, because 9/10 climate scientists can’t be wrong give up easy funding.

Greens want to save Gaia, and who wouldn’t when all you need is a lot of other people’s money, hookers and booze?

Imagine that you’re sitting here, happily reading the round-up, when out of the blue someone arrives and kicks you in the nuts. Hard.  Now you know how the University of East Anglia feels after being told to hand over its data, or else. For the ladies, yes, it hurts that bad.

Good news, Coca-Cola has erected a breathing billboard to save the planet from the evil pollution it injects into every can of pop.  Wait, what?

bushy billboard bull

At least Coke avoids using petroleum products. Huh?

The EPA is looking at 7 sites to see if fracking causes water pollution. It doesn’t, but abundant, affordable shale gas is  upsetting hippies, so the EPA must find a way to stop it.

The world’s most doomed politician tries to save herself by quoting climate science. The words Epic and Fail marry and live happily ever down under.

Oh noes, hybrid cars need lots of copper, but hippies hate copper mining. Oh, the ironing.

Just when you thought scaremongers couldn’t get any dafter, they do.

Minx the Merciless finds something ugly about an warmist fanatic’s rhetoric.

Panama party-mania is only a few more months away as the canal capital preps for the five-thousand people who will prep for COP-17 in Durban. As I recall, UN conferences in Durban don’t go well.

The American Society for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) is against harassment by FOIA requests, except when it is for harassment by FOIA requests.  On the subject of the AAAS, Donna Laframboise discovered that a past President was Chair of the Union of Concerned Scientists at the same time he represented the AAAS.  Awkward.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

This video will be everywhere, it’s that good:

..

China’s coal saved the planet from global warming, because the models that predicted warming when there was none couldn’t possibly be wrong.

Wind power is the gift that keeps on taking. Not only does it not produce much power as it shreds birds, it’ll mess up the distribution grid too.

Food inflation may ease as farmers grow more corn. Unless that corn goes into your SUV, that is.

China’s stranglehold on the supply of rare earth minerals essential for modern electronic devices and hybrid cars may be broken now huge deposits have been found in the Pacific:

The deposits are in international waters in an area stretching east and west of Hawaii, as well as east of Tahiti in French Polynesia, he said.   He estimated rare earths contained in the deposits amounted to 80 to 100 billion tonnes, compared to global reserves currently confirmed by the U.S. Geological Survey of just 110 million tonnes that have been found mainly in China, Russia and other former Soviet countries, and the United States.

Rumors that the EPA is seeking powers to regulate pesky ‘international waters’ could not be confirmed.

Scientist cage match of the week: Warmists vs. Camel boffins.  No, really.

Chris Huhne, the UK’s Minister of silly walks Energy and Climate Change, promised the nation would be powered by wind. Which means a nuclear renaissance, or something. There are more signs the British government has decided maybe going green isn’t such a great idea after all. Inconvenient truths like how much back-up power for wind farms will cost probably has a lot to do with the shift in the, err, wind:

Britain’s richest energy companies want homeowners to subsidise billions of pounds worth of gas-powered stations that will stand idle for most of the time. Talks have taken place between the Government, Centrica, owner of British Gas, and other energy companies on incentives to build the power stations needed as back-ups for the wind farms now being built around the country. It is understood 17 gas-fired plants worth about £10 billion will be needed by 2020.

The Energy Department has been warned that without this massive back-up for the new generation of heavily subsidised giant wind farms, the lights could go out when the wind dies down.

UK homeowners are already suffering from soaring costs, and there’s more pain coming.

When global warming gives you lemons, make lemonade. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

Ahem. It’s the Sun, stupid.

The University of Virginia is ordered to release Michael ‘Stick’ Mann’s emails, at last. UVA might have looked to the UEA for sympathy, but the motley CRU is bent over and breathing hard after getting its own FOIA footy.

A weak economy is a skeptics best friend as it keeps the faux-problem of global warming off the political agenda.

Oh noes, we’re doomed. EU MEP’s voted against a motion to cut emissions by 30%. Poland also did its part to save the EU from itself.

Finally, photographic proof that Gaia has a death wish and doesn’t want to be saved:

attack of the PV snatchers

A reformed hippie comes clean about the lies of Big Green:

Rather than retreating into hair-shirt austerity, I believe that, just as technology got us into this mess, technology is vital to get us out of it. That means embracing some things that will make a lot of Green believers choke on their organic muesli. It has taken me a long time to reach this conclusion. I used to passionately oppose not only nuclear power but GM crops. I once even threw a pie in the face of a Danish scientist who dared to question the orthodox environmental line. So what changed? Through research, I found that much of what I believed about environmental issues had little, if any, basis  in science. Put simply, though my  concerns were right, my solutions were wrong.

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Part Four: Global Hottie

Hollywood is remaking Total Recall for some reason, and part of the shoot is taking place near Chez Bayonet. One of the stars of the remake is this week’s hottie, Ms. Jessica Beal. The very thought of Jessica being in the neighborhood is enough to cause a spike in local temperature. We’ll call it the Jessica Heat Island effect, or something.

*click*

Thanks for reading.