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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Oct. 13th 2011

Being a concerned scientist can be a dog’s life, a muppet says climate scientists are losing the battle and even Kraken science is better than climate science.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

At last, Hippie of the Week can be awarded to the man who has done more to please skeptic eyeballs than any other climate activist. Weepy Bill McKibben, author, activist, founder of 350.org and all-round rabble rouser has earned the right to pass into the hippie hall of fame.

Weepy Bill

McKibben has been busy all summer, camping outside the White House in an arrest-o-fest to protest the Keystone XL pipeline. Instead of taking some well-earned time off and working on a Harold Camping style formula to justify why 350ppm of CO2 is a ‘safe’ level, Weepy Bill heard the siren call of leftie discontent and ended up at the Occupy Wall Street protests. It probably didn’t hurt that Bill’s deity gave the OWS an endorsement.

The OWS is a veritable hippie swamp after nearly three weeks of the ‘occupation’, but the intrepid Bill went anyway and gave a speech. It wasn’t so much an ‘eat the rich’ speech as a recruitment effort for his next anti-energy protest this coming November, but he threw the crowd an obligatory anti-capitalist bone:

“The reason that it’s so great that we’re occupying Wall Street is because Wall Street has been occupying the atmosphere.”

Okay, it doesn’t make sense, but it didn’t have too. Most of the crowd were too baked to care what he was saying, or too busy trying to get someone to pay for their lunch, or a ride home, or their tuition, or whatever they woke up without that morning and figured they were owed.

Here’s Weepy Bill’s speech. And yes, as climate drones chant every word back at him, it is the creepiest thing you’ll see all day.

..

Congratulations on the win, Bill. Now it’s time for the obligatory Google juice.

*cilck*

Why yes, that is Olga Kurylenko of the former Soviet Union. It seemed appropriate somehow.

 Part Two: Warmists & Alarmists

Al Gore has long been the self-appointed spiritual leader of the global warming cult, pointing out how an angry Gaia needs our love and your money. But mostly your money. So it seemed odd for Al to show interest in auto mechanics. At least I assume that’s the reason he’s under the bus.

President Obama also is interested in automotive engineering this week, determining that an electric car capable of 130 miles per gallon is only five years away. Don’t mention that EV’s use batteries, not gallons, or that the President may or may not be able to find his head with both hands. If you do, Morgan Freeman is likely to show up on your doorstep to narrate how racist you are. Or something.

Nature used to be a safe haven for warmists to peddle their wares, you’ll recall Mike’s Nature trick. Now, notsomuch. Et tu, Nature?

Global warming is the global crisis without any actual, you know, crises.

Oh noes, the Australian alps will be snow-free by 2050. If only there was a carbon-tax to save the day. Oh, wait, there is. Simon has some thoughts on the new tax.

Let’s hope the Aussie alps study is better science than the Barrier reef studies, which turn out to be not very good:

…findings just published in the international Journal Human and Ecological Risk Assessment detail the many substantial flaws in this research.   We explain how concentration of chemical bound to sediment was used as a measure of biological availability when the relevant literature indicates they should have been measuring concentration in solution.  In order to get a result in experimental investigations the researchers dosed seedlings with concentrations of chemical orders of magnitude higher than anything found in waterways.  Worst still, their experimental design mixed waters from the control and treatments.

The UK’s devious plot to price carbon has run into trouble already, as the pesky element refuses to hold its price.

The Union of Concerned Scientists lend their name and credibility to science and policy to ensure that global warming is seen as a real problem which needs further study and funding. But mostly funding. The good news is that now UCS endorsements can be bought with cash, or Beggin’ Strips. No, really.

kenji watts, concerned scientist

Jim Hansen, father of the muppets global warming movement, NASA scientist and activist says that skeptics are winning the battle:

“There’s been a very strong campaign by those who want to continue fossil fuel ‘business as usual’, and the scientific story has not been powerful enough to offset that push.” Part of the problem, he said, was that the climate sceptic lobby employed communications professionals, whereas “scientists are just barely competent at communicating with the public and don’t have the wherewithal to do it.”

Hansen is right, of course. Apart from that $300 million advertising campaign, climate scientists have been on their own in getting the message out there. Oh, sure there was a little help from that Al Gore movie, and the Earth Days and Earth Hours and Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth and 350.org and David Suzuki and Leo diCaprio and Bono and Richard Branson and GE and Rolling Stone and Google and NBC and a bunch of Nobel winners. But apart from that, climate scientists were all alone.

Scientific American has discovered the source of climate skepticism. It’s white, male and conservative. Hey, it’s me.

Being a warmist means you can never be wrong, and if pesky blog comments prove you wrong, just rewrite history. Ignorance is Power, right?

Oh noes, global warming is why kids don’t go outside anymore. Add it to The List. Helicopter parents, Wii, PlayStation and XBox were unavailable for comment.

Warmists lost a propaganda tool in Michigan when a climate textbook was withdrawn after errors were pointed out.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

The EPA has a sure-fire plan to save America from the terrors of a trace gas essential to life on Earth – simply cut 28 GigaWatts of energy generation:

EPA modeling and power-plant operator announcements show that EPA regulations will close at least 28 gigawatts (GW) of American generating capacity, the equivalent of closing every power plant in the state of North Carolina or Indiana. Also, 28 GW is 8.9 percent of our total coal generating capacity.

The US should prioritize which states get juice and which get to live in yurts and sing kumbaya around dung-fires. My advice, start with the left coast.

There’s IPCC model predictions, and then there’s what actually happens. Turns out that one isn’t much like the other.

The WSJ has five ‘truths’ about global warming. None of them will make hippies happy.

Durban hosts the COP17 climate conference in 2011, or site of the attack of the mutant radishes, if you prefer.

Here’s your Red Green on Green Red action of the week. Chinese skeptics think America made up global warming to sell green tech.

Al Gore’s climate crisis appears to have failed to warm America at all. For 15 years. He saved us! Thanks, Al.

Weepy Bill and the Keystone fops may resist a new pipeline, but if it’s not built, Gaia may be worse off:

Canada’s government — and rising world petroleum prices — guarantee that the country will extract the oil from its tar sands, and that Asia will take it if America doesn’t. That means using pipelines to transport Canada’s heavy crude hundreds of miles to the West Coast and then shipping it abroad, burning fossil fuels and risking ocean spills along the way. China already has a large stake in Canadian oil production. Plans are already in the works to build the necessary pipelines.

Unintended consequences, the curse of hippies through the ages.

Kyoto II, son of Kyoto, is DOA as the EU bails.

Brighton in the UK is a town-sized version of Haight-Ashbury that elected the nations first and only Green MP. Yet despite green predictions of global warming, the council purchased £1 million of new snow equipment. Heh.

How does a warmist science vessel burning $50,000 of diesel a day help Gaia, exactly?

not the Rainbow Warrior

A geologist proposes a pretty shaky Kraken theory, but is altogether more willing to be questioned on his wild theory than mainstream climate scientists are about ‘settled’ science:

“Smokin’ kraken?” was the headline on a dismissive story at Discovery.com.  McMenamin says he’s not the least bit offended. Such skepticism and batting around of theories is an integral part of the scientific process. He says his theory can stand up to it all. “We were expecting a very skeptical response to this, and rightly so. It is a kind of bold theory,” he said.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Britain faces a mini-ice age.

Aussie opposition leader Tony Abbott made a blood pledge to repeal the nations newly-minted carbon tax. So, that’s the next election in the bag then, unless he’s caught with a dead hooker or a live choirboy in the meantime. And even that may not be enough to save Julia Gillard.

Hackers attacked the UN carbon registry, but no carbon credits were stolen. If hackers figure carbon credits aren’t even worth stealing, who’s going to buy them?

Keystone XL will be built. Not because it’s the right thing to do, but because President Obama needs union dough for his re-election campaign, and KXL means jobs for unions. Hippies vs unions? Popcorn futures are looking good:

The raucous hearing at times mirrored the tone of angry, wide-ranging protests just steps outside the forum, with loud jeers and cheers following many speakers. When a pipeline foe with dreadlocks loudly shouted “Kill the pipeline,” the speaker he interrupted, labor representative Phillip Stephenson, responded: “Get a haircut.

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Part Four: Global Hottie

Hottie of the week is a perennial favorite of the round-up. Scarlett Johansson will reprise her Black Widow role in the forthcoming Avengers movie (trailer here), and that’s enough to earn her a double helping of hotness.

*click*

*clickety-click*

Thanks for reading.