A Beginner’s Guide to Embracing Your Submissive Side in Sex


While BDSM remains an intriguing topic, it’s often misconstrued. Recent studies indicate that nearly half of the general population has engaged in BDSM activities. However, not everyone comprehends its essence, especially when venturing into new sexual territories.

When delving into new kinks and sexual experiences, understanding the nuances becomes crucial to ensure the safety and comfort of all parties involved. Let’s delve into the realm of submissive sex, often represented by the ‘S’ in BDSM.

In this guide, we’ll define submissive sex, explore safe ways to approach it, and discuss initial steps if you’re new to embracing your submissive side. If you’re keen on exploring different kinks and contemplating submission, this guide offers insights and tips tailored for you. Knowing more about sex can help you have a better sex life with your partner, check out more sex related articles on inyarose.

Understanding Sexual Submission: What Does it Entail?

Sexual submission, also known as submissive sex, involves consensual sexual engagement between adults where each participant assumes different roles. One person embodies the “sub,” the submissive partner, while the other embodies the “dom,” the dominant partner.

Contrary to media portrayals suggesting a lack of control or boundaries, sexual submission revolves around consent between both individuals. It relies on mutual pleasure derived from playing respective roles.

Sub vs. Bottom: Clarifying the Distinction

There’s a common misconception equating “subs” with “bottoms,” but they’re not synonymous. While the submissive party actively plays a role in sexual dynamics, a “bottom” typically refers to the sexual position during intercourse.

Individuals identifying as bottoms often describe their sexual preference, which doesn’t necessarily indicate a submissive role during sex. In the realm of BDSM, submission involves consenting to cede power to another while establishing clear boundaries.

Diverse Interpretations of Submission

At its core, sexual submission revolves around a power dynamic where one person assumes control over the other. However, it’s not a rigid concept; interpretations vary among couples and individuals.

Despite the submissive partner relinquishing control to the dominant, it occurs within pre-established boundaries and rules. Submissive sex relies on clear communication, incorporating safe words, mutual limits, and understanding each other’s preferences.

Exploring Submissive Sex: The Importance of Communication

For those considering exploring submissive sex, open and comprehensive discussions with your partner are crucial. Furthermore, ongoing communication remains essential beyond the initial experiences. It may take multiple attempts to understand preferences and establish a mutually satisfying exploration of submissive sex in the bedroom.

Exploring Submissive Sex: 5 Ways to Dive In

Embracing submissive sex can introduce a thrilling dynamic in the bedroom, yet starting out might feel challenging. Prior to delving into this realm, open conversations with your partner are essential to establish comfort levels and boundaries.

Here are five ways to begin exploring submissive sex with your partner. While these methods serve as a starting point, they offer a foundation to discover what works best for both of you.

Permissions and Punishments

Incorporate power dynamics through permissions and punishments during submissive intercourse. The submissive partner seeks permission from the dominant partner for actions such as orgasming or performing oral. Disobedience may lead to specific punishments like spanking, bondage, or edging.

Setting explicit rules beforehand allows the dominant partner to establish boundaries and expectations for the session, including permissible sexual acts and attire.

Impact Play

Include impact play, involving striking with hands or toys during intercourse. Spanking, a common example, heightens arousal by increasing blood flow and triggering the release of endorphins and dopamine. Various implements like whips or paddles can be used for impact play, ensuring mutual comfort.

Roleplaying and Erotic Dialogue

Expand roleplaying by embodying specific power dynamics beyond the standard dom and sub roles. Beginning with simple roles featuring clear power dynamics helps ease into this aspect. Roles like boss/employee, teacher/student, or doctor/patient can intensify the dynamic, but communication is vital for mutual comfort.


Explore bondage, often intertwined with submissive sex. Employing straps, belts, or ropes, the dominant partner restrains the submissive, enhancing arousal by limiting their sense of freedom during intercourse.

Outfit Selection

Experiment with various outfits to enhance roles and intensify the power dynamic. Doms might feel confident and empowered in leather attire, while subs could wear accessories like leashes or collars. Outfits, such as a teacher’s or student’s attire, contribute to an intensified power dynamic, invigorating sexual experiences.


Costumes play a significant role, allowing individuals to assume distinct personas, fostering comfort in their roles and intensifying the excitement during submissive sex.

Effective Communication: A Pillar of Submissive Sex

Engaging in sexual submission can be thrilling, but its enjoyment hinges on mutual understanding, clear boundaries, and established precautions. BDSM, including submissive sex, requires ongoing, open discussions about sexual desires and boundaries between partners. Preferences might evolve over time, highlighting the necessity of constant and healthy communication.


It’s essential to recognize that interests and comfort levels can shift. What may be unappealing now might intrigue later, and vice versa. Therefore, maintaining consistent communication remains crucial for couples exploring submissive sex and other facets of BDSM.

Explore Fantasies Together

In submissive sex, partners assume dominant or submissive roles, which can vary in intensity and expression. There’s a spectrum in submission dynamics, urging couples to explore fantasies collaboratively, finding a satisfying midpoint for both individuals.


Regardless of the approach taken to spice up intimacy, the key remains in communication with your partner. Understanding each other’s boundaries and preferences is fundamental in creating a fulfilling and enjoyable experience in the bedroom.


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