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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Mar. 1st, 2012

A Guardianista penned an Ode to a Wind Farm, global warming makes suckers of Texans and a mild-mannered climatologist dismantled the alarmist agenda.

All this, and a hottie too. It must be Thursday.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

This week’s HOTW isn’t a criminal mastermind, skillful phisherman or even a scientist. But he does write for The Guardian. Congratulations to Bill McGuire for his eye-popping peek into the future of global warming:

The bottom line is that through our climate-changing activities we are loading the dice in favour of escalating geological havoc at a time when we can most do without it. Unless there is a dramatic and completely unexpected turnaround in the way in which the human race manages itself and the planet, then long-term prospects for our civilisation look increasingly grim. At a time when an additional 220,000 people are lining up at the global soup kitchen each and every night; when energy, water and food resources are coming under ever-growing pressure, and when the debilitating effects of anthropogenic climate change are insinuating themselves increasingly into every nook and cranny of our world and our lives, the last thing we need is for the dozing subterranean giant to awaken.

Dozing subterranean giant? Oh noes, does he mean Godzilla is nigh? Or that Nessie will emerge from her Loch to devour wee Scot bairns in their slumber? Nope, he’s blaming the weather for geologic convulsions:

A changing climate isn’t just about floods, droughts and heatwaves. It brings erupting volcanoes and catastrophic earthquakes too

It’s the flying tundra theory again. Joe Romm claims there’s no such thing as crisis fatigue because there’s no such thing as climate alarmism, or something.

Bill McGuire disagrees, methinks.

Part Two: Warmists

Men of the world, rejoice. We can use global warming to explain the awkward problem of shrinkage. No, really:

Modern mammals, including humans, could be at risk of shrinking as a result of global warming, just as teeny prehistoric horses shrank to an even smaller size when temperatures rose 56 million years ago.

Also suffering shrinkage is another ‘green jobs’ success, A123 Systems, a battery firm. They received $390 million in subsidies, but just laid off 125 workers. Apparently the business plan was good for getting a front listing in the Yellow Pages, but weak thereafter.

Oh noes, global warming causes vampire bats in Texas. Add it to The List.

give us a kiss, y'all

Don’t believe the maxim that all publicity is good publicity. A new documentary about water by the makers of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ features none other than Peter Gleick. The movie is likely to inhabit a small, unloved corner of Netflix as a result.

A scientist planned on accepting a Heartland Institute invitation to debate, and his warmist colleagues called to explain: SHUT UP:

…when he agreed to participate, a dozen or so colleagues let him know that they thought he should not attend. “There is a sense among climate scientists that they shouldn’t debate these guys, that it just plays into the idea that there is a debate.” said Denning. “I respectfully disagree.”

Good for Denning. Also, a newish blog from an actual scientist wants to engage both sides of the global warming debate, and upset Peter Gleick with her blog name: All Models Are Wrong. She’s added to the Blogroll, because we need folks like her.

Norway has suspended financial support for the WWF, pending an embezzlement scandal in Tanzania.

Toy-maker Lego has invested $500 million on green energy. Give it a year or so and that decision will hurt the bottom line worse than finding one of their bricks in the middle of the night with a bare foot.

Uh oh. The IPCC might be having a rough time of it soon, unless pesky nature falls into line and follows the modeled predictions.

It’s a bad time to be a bird. If the bird shredders don’t get you, global warming will. And on the topic of bird shredders, a Guardian article on the whirly blades of avian doom reads like a love letter. Some excerpts:

its three blades, stilled for now, like stupendous scimitars wielded by a giant.

The structures themselves have the panache of Thomas Telford’s 1826 suspension bridge across the Menai Straits, or Isambard Kingdom Brunel’s Great Britain, launched in 1843 and the world’s first propeller-driven ocean-going iron ship.

A Victorian, steampunk version would surely have gothic trimmings, or be painted in stripes like old lighthouses. Perhaps in future, there will be retro-turbines that emulate such traditional nautical structures. But for now, these towers could not be further from the low-tech cliches of the green imagination.

The Thanet shore is being brought to life by winds that once filled the sails of sloops and brigs and now drive these machines, so grand, so gentle.

Bludgeoned gulls were unavailable to critique the ode to a wind farm, but were said to have been left in pieces by it, or something.

Any UK folks who don’t feel the love and want to dry hump the nearest wind turbine like a frisky terrier on great Aunt Maude’s leg are out of luck if they think they can do anything to stop them. Learn to love them, and look up raptor recipes, it’s the future.

President Obama wants America to get 80% of its energy from clean sources by 2035. He’s betting the farm on algae, but to be sure his prediction comes true is also dismantling the domestic economy so that it won’t be needing much pesky energy anyhow.

Australian politicos know that the carbon tax is a vote loser, which explains the shameless propaganda being thrown at the poor upside-down populace:

Once again, the population is treated like total morons. “CP”, or carbon particle, lectures us on how we should cut emissions and lead virtuous low carbon lives. Unfortunately, particulate carbon has NOTHING to do with global warming, climate change or whatever. Carbon dioxide, the alleged part-cause of the modern warming, is a harmless, invisible, trace gas.

A carbon-conscious hippie wrestles with the age-old problem of whether to live in his urban New Jersey home, or his rural Maine retreat without a trace of self-awareness that the problem might be owning two homes. Do as they say, or shut up.

UK farmers are facing the triple-threat of Bluetongue, Schmallenberg and drought, all caused by global warming, or a milder winter, whichever gets the better headline.

NASA has mapped a giant crack in Antarctica. My guess is alarmists will blame global warming rather than all those pesky dancing penguins. At least NASA can still make maps, real science seems to be too hard for them to figure out any more.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

‘Father’ of the modern global warming movement, NASA’s James Hansen predicted three scenarios for global temperatures back in 1998, and cunningly named them A, B, and C. And Gaia shrugged, then chose none of the above.

Richard Lindzen, MIT boffin and seriously smart dude, spoke to the UK parliament about global warming, and destroyed the alarmists without once getting over-excited:

Stated briefly, I will simply try to clarify what the debate over climate change is really about. It most certainly is not about whether climate is changing: it always is. It is not about whether CO2 is increasing: it clearly is. It is not about whether the increase in CO2, by itself, will lead to some warming: it should. The debate is simply over the matter of how much warming the increase in CO2 can lead to, and the connection of such warming to the innumerable claimed catastrophes. The evidence is that the increase in CO2 will lead to very little warming, and that the connection of this minimal warming (or even significant warming) to the purported catastrophes is also minimal. The arguments on which the catastrophic claims are made are extremely weak – and commonly acknowledged as such. They are sometimes overtly dishonest.

Oh noes, GISS admits it IS the Sun, stupid. The IPCC, notsomuch. No wonder the IPCC may have outlived its usefulness, at least according to Judith Curry.

Good news, we might figure out the key to immortality before global warming takes us out. It’s all about flatworms.

take one, three times daily

Here’s consensus we can believe in – skeptic blogs sweep the awards board. Soylent is over the moon.

A German meteorologist warns us to prepare for cooling, not warming. He’ll be in Von Luger’s cooler in no time for saying stuff like that.

Data manipulation of mythic proportions? Tallbloke knows what happened to the ARGO noughts.

Hippies will be piqued that Peak Oil has, er, peaked. It’s over, according to Citigroup, thanks to pesky human innovation and progress.

Salamanders are the latest species to not need saving, thanks to their ability to adapt quickly to environmental changes.

Salamanders, he found in a study published in the journal Scientific Reports, which is published by Nature Publishing Group, can evolve fairly rapidly — in 10 to 20 generations — in response to the chemical runoff found in many roadside ponds.

Cassava, a root source of carbohydrate, is set to thrive if global warming gets rolling. It is already eaten daily by 500 million people and could replace crops that may fair poorly in slightly milder weather. That sound you hear is another Paul Ehrlich face palm.

Pushing back against warmist propaganda in Aussie schools, an offer to give 300 free Ian Plimer books to educators.

Remember when London, Manhattan and other popular world cities were to disappear under rising seas? Ain’t happening:

hippies: simply rotate the graph 90° left to restore cozy worldview

Australia was warned that drought was the new normal thanks to global warming, and sure enough, reservoirs are set to spill their dams. Wait, what?

Part Four: Global Hottie

The Avengers movie is released in May, and a new trailer is out that’s pretty entertaining. While not usually a superhero movie fan, this one is written and directed by Joss Whedon, of Firefly. So yeah, I’ll buy a ticket. If you’re on the fence, here’s a couple of good reasons to see it: Scarlett Johansson.

*click*

Thanks for reading. For those inclined, save a thought or say a prayer for the friends and family of Andrew Breitbart, who passed away too soon today.

NOTE: Oh my, another link from Anthony at WUWT for the Gleick water movie story. At this rate he’ll want to keep his pipe and slippers here. Welcome back Wattsians, Wattsistas, Wattsbros and Watterati. For you are legion, or hordes, or maybe swarms.