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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Sep.30th 2010

Al gore sells out, some environmentalists are upset at the pale hue of President Obama’s green record and a new planet made of porridge has been discovered.

All this plus more snark than you can shake a stick at and a gardening tip, it’s just part of the service in your weekly round-up.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

In what must surely be a sign of the green apocalypse, Al Gore sold off 20% of his ownership in Camco International, a ‘carbon offset aggregator’.  From Camco’s website:

We are a global developer of emission reduction and clean energy projects. With experience spanning 20 years, we have delivered projects in more than 20 countries and provide our clients with advice, software and services to help reduce and manage their emission and energy needs.

Someone tell Al that it is traditional for captains to go down with their vessel, it’s the rats that desert.

Even as he secures his fortune, Al Gore celebrates a far more successful global scare: the ozone hole is apparently fixed.  If you’re wondering why Al cares, it’s to demonstrate to the gullible that man changing things can, well, change things.  You can see why Al might like a story like that.

Al also blogged, but unfortunately only to demonstrate his deluded contention that weather is climate and therefore ‘evidence’ of something.

hey, put that down

Canada’s David Suzuki, an intemperate old hippie totalitarian is all over the news being, well, intemperate.  He refused an offer to broker a truce between radical greens and the oil sands.  The aged hippie has a new book to sell, but some reviews are unkind:

Unless, David Suzuki can engage in a more balanced, scientific approach, working with his intellectual opponents instead of trying to beat them up, then he needs to leave the public stage. Dr. Suzuki has accomplished a good deal in the form of environmental consciousness raising over the years but his recent aggressive and now mystical approach is simply alienating more and more Canadians.

Amen to that, brother.  More dismantling of the hubris and contradictions of Suzuki and his ilk:

…stunning contradiction shows up most clearly when environmentalists talk about climate change. On the one hand, greens oppose geo-engineering schemes — deliberate attempts to alter the atmosphere to counteract the effects of climate change — on the grounds that we cannot possibly predict the consequences of our actions. But they also treat forecasts of what will happen if humanity doesn’t curtail carbon dioxide emissions as perfectly reliable glimpses of the future. That makes no sense. Either we can reliably predict the effect human actions have on climate and the natural world or we cannot. Which is it?

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

Global warming believers have a new enemy, the Koch Brothers.  The rich pair who put their money where their mouth is have upset Big Green by daring to spend cash to refute the constant stream of alarmist nonsense.  I give the Koch Bros credit for being open and honest about both their skepticism and spending, it’s a stark contrast with Al Gore’s refusal to say where his $300 million came from.

The World Bank is using third parties to write its reports on global warming.  It chose the WWF and not scientists, taking its lead from the IPCC no doubt.

Oh noes, Irish singer and poseur Bono is found to apply the Hugo Chavez model when sharing the wealth, giving only 1% of his One Foundation money to actual causes.  In cash terms its £118,000, but the annual salaries of management is £5.1million.  U2 Et tu, Bono?

nice glasses kid, I'll take 'em

What would happen if you threw a eco-garden party and nobody came?  Ask bonnie Prince Chuckles, it just happened to him.

For George Monbiot, projection ain’t just a river in Egypt.  He wrote this, of skeptics:

Once you have taken that leap of self-belief, once you have arrogated to yourself the authority otherwise vested in science, any faith is then possible. Your own views (and those of the small coterie who share them) become your sole reference points, and are therefore unchallengeable and immutable. You must believe yourself capable of anything. And, in a sense, you probably are.

In Delaware, a skeptical scientist was invited, then uninvited to a press conference.  Or, shut up, they explained.

Big Green is exposed as just another Beltway power player, among other inconvenient truths:

What these activist groups have to “sell” is their ability to get things done in Washington, which means their ability to get access to politicians. Environmental groups could offer this through access to their membership and by encouraging their members to support the politicians who were friendly to their issues. Voting power meant re-election for the politicians, re-election meant moving up the seniority ladder, and seniority meant exercising power — which made the politicians more attractive to the environmental groups.

Green on green action: eco-groups call for a challenger to President Obama, who isn’t green enough for them.  Racists!

A look at why hippies love social media to protest against big Oil and anything else they don’t like.  Short version, they don’t have to leave their mom’s basement.

Green on green part deux: Green buildings are not green enough.  Here’s your homework assignment for the week – make a note every time you see a story or opinion about something being ‘not green enough’.  Hippies want us back in caves, trust me.

A race car driver wants to reduce our dependence on oil even as she drives an 800 horse power car in circles for a living.  I forget why this story made it into the round up… oh, wait, now I remember:

lei

how to make it into a round-up, step one

Hippies are cheapskates, just ask Sam Arie of the Guardian.  He wants to buy an electric car, but the subsidies aren’t high enough, for which he blames big oil.  Hey hippie, how about not expecting the taxpayer to help you buy a car?

You can almost hear Al Gore’s heart break as Leo DiCaprio hearts tigers now:

Coalition for Rainforest Nations Executive Director Kevin Conrad said, “Leonardo has now started traveling around the world looking at tigers, trying to assess the role of climate change on tiger habitats…”

A clue for Leo, maybe not flying around the world would be good for tiger habitats.  Just sayin’.

Win: Australia arrests 40 coal protesters, and global warming muppet Jim Hansen is busted at the White House, but not before ranting his scientific head off.

Treehuggers figures the US military needs to use Unicorn poop to fuel it’s tanks by 2040.  Don’t worry, in about a year or two the hippies will realize they were wrong and make like they never said that out loud.

Tom Nelson dismantles the EPA’s Lisa Jackson in a single headline.

Hippies realize that man can survive slightly nicer weather after all.  Phew.

Governor Schwarzenegger of California defends his global warming law and attacks big oil, which is par for the course for a Democratic… oh, wait.  Nevermind.

Hedging their bets, hippies are beta testing the new scare to end all scares – ocean acidification.  This is a secondary tactic in case the first option, ‘biodiversity’, fails.

Bill McKibben of 350.org has been reduced to making it up as he goes.

Grist call GOP candidates who are skeptical of man made global warming ‘zombies’, but others are getting nervous about what it may mean to have an unsympathetic ear on the Hill (warning, leftard thinking ahead):

Rep. Issa is already readying an investigation of the fake “Climategate” email scandal that has already been debunked. And the accused scientists have been cleared. But that’s not about to stop Issa, because the global warming denier is out to make a big public splash and a name for himself. And what better way to do that then, hype a phony scandal that’s red meat for wingnuts.

The NRDC heads to the courts to defend a species from extinction.  Unfortunately for the NRDC, polar bears are just fine. Perhaps they didn’t get the memo that Walruses are the new Ursus Maritimus.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

What seems like a better idea for Australia’s energy future – 8,000 solar power plants, or 35 nuclear ones? Your choice may depend on how much patchouli you’ve ingested.

More inconvenient truth from down under, sea levels are not rising, much:

Actual sea level rise measured by Maritime Safety Queensland = 0.0003m per year. Projecting over a century that would be 3 centimetres – just over an inch.

How is Al Gore supposed to sell books when sea levels aren’t going to kill us all?  Jeez.

Ice ice baby: there was less Arctic ice than today 7,000 years ago.  Fewer hippies too, those were the days.

Will it blend?:  Whales and seals fall victim to the bird shredders of the sea.  If you are confused by the green narrative on wildlife, allow me to clear it up for you: Canadian Inuit making a living from seals = evil but seals killed by wind farms = nothing to see here, move along.   (Apply the same formula to birds killed by oil sands tailing ponds and those killed by wind farms, green hypocrisy is good for any occasion).

sealed with a myth

Oh noes, now Japan has a medieval warming period too.

Signs that green policies have inflated the cost of living too far – when the Queen applies for a heating allowance.

We’re all green now.  Unless you mine coal, drill for oil or make something, you’ve got a green job.

Hey, maybe oceans have something to do with climate.  And while we’re at it, that big yellow ball in the sky looks mighty suspicious.  Before you know it, clouds and water vapour will be roped in soon.

How to prove global warming – take actual temperature readings and add 0.5°F.  Easy.  Nifty graphic thing here.

The Thanet wind farm off the Kent coastline in the UK is a scam, expect to hear a lot more about it.

Selling carbon credits isn’t easy when there is no good reason to buy them, as Aussie carbon dealers have discovered.

Hmmm, Arctic ice is growing at the rate of 1000 Manhattan islands per day, yet the newspapers seem to be not reporting this fact.  Just wait until global cooling becomes the new thing again and this natural cycle will be a new harbinger of doom.

Oh noes, CO2 is innocent of melting the snows of Kilimanjaro.  It was tree-felling.  Evil lumberjacks.

Governor Arnold may defend his global warming bill, but the jobs exodus from the Golden State is all too real:

The Boeing Co.’s recent announcement that it’s relocating two key defense programs, and 800 jobs, from Long Beach to Oklahoma City demonstrates why California’s Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006 – also known as Assembly Bill 32 – is reckless and damaging to our state.

It may be that 800 jobs lost to Utah is a drop in the bucket, the EPA may cost 100 times that, nationwide.

Taking NGO’s to task for the wrong-headed posturing that costs lives in India:

So hunger is reduced by stimulating economic growth and yet climate advocacy strangely seeks to reduce, if not eliminate it all together. The situation is accentuated by the diversion of scarce resources of poor countries to combat an imaginary problem – carbon footprint of man! FAO goes on to say that higher energy prices imply more and more people end up starving.  But this is exactly what climate justice advocacy is all about – raising energy prices. FAO highlights that two thirds of the worlds undernourished live in just seven countries, including India. But the WWF, Greenpeace, Oxfam, Christian Aid, Action Aid, CARE, Lutheran World Federation  (surprise surprise), Brot fur die Welt etc through their climate advocacy wants just that – raise the energy prices in this country and continue to ensure more and more Indians end up starving.

Don’t worry next time you see a story about extinctions, new estimates are that one third of all ‘extinct’ mammals are alive and well.

The BBC claims that one fifth of the world’s flora and fauna will be killed by a microscopic increase in the amount of, err, plant food in the atmosphere.

Reason, lost: “We’ll never know if the electric car industry would have been viable without subsidies.”  Actually, I believe the answer lies in that very sentence.

Part Four: AGW in the News

US lawmakers are trying to save the incandescent light bulb from extinction.  Hey, greens like saving things from dying out, maybe this can work.

If it fails, a California firm has the latest re-invention of the wheel, but with fewer sharp edges than mercury-laden CFL’s.

Mo’ nukes, mo’ nukes, mo’ nukes… but they need mo’ money.

Bankrupt Britain continues to believe that calling any new tax ‘green’ will have the magical properties of not being unpopular and not killing jobs and economic growth.

Delingpole exposes what the most influential people in the world were discussing in a secret meeting in June, global cooling.  Yeah, you read that right.

Oh noes, hippies worry that cheap, clean, abundant shale gas will slow the rush to renewable fuels.  We can all hope.

Vancouverites are paying a hefty price for being green.  Good job most of them are baked, or they might get upset and sign a petition again.

The Cancun round of climate talks is going nowhere, it’s time to take control of Canada’s energy future:

…without a national understanding and acceptance that lowering our emissions at the rate the UN wants means lowering our standard of living by paying much more than we do even now for energy, our continued participation in the Kyoto-to-Cancun process is pointless.

Global warming causes bats obsessed with the Twilight movies to attack Brazilian kids.  Or something.

Japan challenges Canada’s green energy and jobs policies under WTO rules.  It might not be a good idea to argue, especially since the Japanese claim they can now make a sun here on Earth.

not only can it make a sun, it looks like a dragon

Ice Age is returning, but without the amusing acorn-chasing proto-squirrel thing.

The UK wakes up to find that wind power costs twice as much as traditional power generated from coal and gas.  Well played, bankrupt people of Britain, well played indeed.  On the other side of the Atlantic, a green activist group hopes that America won’t notice the UK’s awful truth and will fall for the same scam.

The UAE has opened a new theme park that pokes fun at global warming.  Just wait until nobody buys oil anymore… oh, nevermind.

When even the BBC can’t defend Raj Pachauri any longer, surely he’ll have to quit soon.

In hippie infested Vermont, where Prius and Suburu’s vehicle coexist in a golden ratio of 1.618:1 cows will be encouraged to emit less methane.

Astronomers have discovered a new planet, Gliese 581g, which they claim is in the middle of the ‘Goldilocks’ zone where the temperature is ‘just right’.  It’s in our galactic vicinity, but is not located below Ursa Major and Ursa Minor as the Goldilocks label infers.  The Guardian got overexcited by this discovery and Steve Goddard was unable to resist:

I get it now. Earth is incredibly sensitive to minute changes in atmospheric CO2, but no worries – you could live on an alien world, 3X the size of earth, orbiting around a Red Giant, with an average temperature well below freezing, and where you would weigh 50% more than on earth.  Good clear headed thinking – as always.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

Let’s talk iron for a moment.  Iron Man was a decent movie, Iron Man II notsomuch, except for the planet-melting combination of Scarlett Johansson and our hottie this week, Gwyneth Paltrow.

More important than even this hot twosome, if you happen to have a weed infestation in your lawn as bad as The Daily Bayonet’s, iron can help.  24 hours after applying some Weed B Gone, the weeds be well on their way to gone.  Gaia stomping goodness and the first ever gardening tip on the round-up.  Remember where you were on this day friends, for it is momentous.

*click*

Thanks for reading, and remember to like the Facebook fan page (top left) – I have a bet for beer riding on how many people will click it, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m thirsty.